Free, Fabulous and Loving Me! Happy Valentines Day.

Self Love 3Last week as I was dashing to meet a friend for dinner.  I realized how free I was at this time in my life.  I had no children to worry about—no spouse to consult and no curfew.

I believe that just as a relationship gives us growth and expansion, so does not having one. No relationship allows for our growth and expansion in a different way. It is an appreciation of ourselves. I am not talking about about conceit, self-importance or narcissism. It is the discovery of our inner core and strengths; who we are:  Our talents. Our Likes and dislikes. The joy of being alive. Our beauty.  A period of getting to know and love our authentic self! To know that we are enough—and to love ourselves is something worth celebrating—not just one day, but 365 others as well.

For me, the journey has been one of unlearning.  I was a wife and Mother for many years. (still a Mother—but my adults kids live in different parts of the country and are not underfoot.) One of the first things I used to think about—besides getting everyone to school on time, was, what shall I fix for dinner?  I don’t do that anymore.  Funny, I always used to joke about wanting a “wife.”  You know someone to do all those errands, deliveries and chores—right?  Does anyone relate?  Now, it is for me.

Someone might call that self centered.  Years ago, I would have recoiled from that label.  It was always about someone else, placing myself second, third, or fourth in the line of family demands.  Most women flinch from the thought of personal descriptions that include the word self.  As Sarah Breathnach so eloquently wrote, “this self-defeating modesty eliminates a lot of flattering adjectives: self-poised, self-assured, self-confident.  So why do we shrink from self-admiration?”

Perhaps, at some pivotal moment growing up, our Mother or other authority figure humiliated us and viewed our healthy wants as shameful and selfish; we were made to feel wrong.  So, isn’t it about time, we begin to set our boundaries and put ourselves first?  I am not suggesting we neglect our children or spouse, if you have those relationships currently in your life, but I am suggesting we begin to reframe our wants, desires and needs, and begin to radiate the vibrant glow of an intelligent, loving, self-possessed woman, shinning our light out unto the world!

I trust and know that when the timing is right, I will again be with a true life-partner.  One that supports my desires and honors me for me.  Until that time I am enjoying my freedom and all that comes from living my truth, honoring my authentic, artistic, creative, caring and compassionate self.

“What a desire!  . . . To live in peace with that word: Myself!” (Sylvia Ashton-Warner)

Happy Valentines Day to the best parts of you!

 

Endings and Beginnings; 7 Tips for Dealing with Emotions in a Healthy Way.

Closing the Despacho

Closing the Despacho Ceremony

Unless you aren’t human, you’ve been experiencing your own tidal wave of change, surfacing as unsettled emotions—sadness, anger, fear, frustration—depression. Damm, you thought you could ignore these unresolved feelings forever? Nope. The Universe and all its divine wisdom is making sure we are cleaning house; a cosmic spring cleaning for the soul.  In the last few weeks, there have been huge changes stirring within us all; acknowledged or not to our conscious self. We can run but we can’t hide.

I picked up the phone and listened this morning as a tearful client and friend spoke about her father, family tensions, and huge family changes unstoppable and unfolding right before her eyes; big loss. Another woman called depressed about her failed relationship—and still another desperately trying to understand her abrupt ending. I have experienced my own losses over the years, but currently on a grander community scale my spiritual sisters crying safely in my kitchen at the sudden and unexpected changes in the organization we knew and loved as DTLA. Bigger than us? I think so.

The astrologers explain this energy as two powerful closely occurring eclipses and the game-changing Grand Cardinal Cross–predicated to cause earthquakes at certain points worldwide; Nicaragua already experiencing such chaos this week. We know that all this is happening, so, how do we deal with the endings and ready ourselves for the new beginnings being presented to us on a more personal level? And if not now, at some point in our life—we will all be forced to look at bigger challenges whether it is the job that was lost, our divorce, a death, move or other significant emotional loss. Monday, at our group meeting, I choose to honor these changes with a ceremony called Despacho—one that I had witnessed months earlier.

Reflecting, to myself, that closings are normal and so is change, but some changes are harder and more painful than others. All cultures have their way of closing the old and bringing in the new.  We certainly declare this every December when one year comes to an end, and we usher in the next–usually without even blinking an eye.

Our Despacho ceremony was a beautiful way to create new intentions—literally “shipment or dispatch” to the universe aligning our personal powers with cosmic ones; representing what is part of our lives now, and our intentions for what is to come next. This simple but meaningful act of harmonizing and engaging ourselves in a sacred ceremony to recognize, acknowledge, and connect to all planes of our existence—physical—mental—and spiritual.

Below are seven ways to help you deal and process changes in your life—begin with the one that resonates with you.

  1. Find someone to just sit and listen—sometimes that’s all we need. A caring heart and an open ear.
  2. Journaling – write—write—write—to the Universe—our lost loved one or to our self. Pour your heart out with an old-fashioned pencil/pen and paper.
  3. Can you tell a new story? Is there a new perspective from which to view this chaos or situation? Maybe you are the special one? The one with a much bigger purpose? Can you see that? There are no mistakes at the divine level.
  4. Can you see this situation as an opportunity to do something you never had the freedom to do before? Is this God, saying—go ahead and . . .
  5. Get moving – even just a walk around the block? Exercise reduces stress—and makes our mental outlook so much better.
  6. Do something for somebody else. When we are able to express our love and gratitude from the bottom of our hearts, we manifest the intention to attract more of what we are grateful for.
  7. Ask your angels and guides for help. Those unseen helpers standing by, but cosmic law says you must invite them in. Unfair—but true. Talk to them!

 

Julie Andrews,  In the movie The Sound of Music as  Maria, advises: “When God Closes a Door, Somewhere He Opens a Window”, timely advice then and today.

 

“Wellness inspired from Within”

Cathy Silver, H. C.

www.Cathysilverhealth.com

The Despacho Mandela before wrapping!

The Despacho Mandela before wrapping!

 

 

 

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