LOVE IN THE AIR

Several years ago now—I resisted the gym, which, I must say I thought was strange, but there was such a pull to be outside.  It had been coming—but this particular year—I couldn’t go back to the stuffy atmosphere and stationary workout equipment I knew so well. Something strong was calling me, so I went with it. I called it Gaia. I needed to walk—to feel the fresh air and sit by the beach. To commune with the palm trees and sand, the unique tropical birds and big bright green iguanas who watched me, silently; weird moveable eyelids and their prehistoric nature all became part of my experience.  And then one day it became routine. Every morning for almost two years I walked the neighborhood. In the process—I said hello to new faces and others became familiar on my walk each morning; soon I had old friends that I passed each day waving to and greeting with a smile. I watched the neighborhood change as houses were put up for sale and new families moved in. Other houses were remodeled, and their new beautiful renovations updated the quiet streets. Lawn and maintenance crews were always present somewhere along the way like standard fixtures. So were the police, waitresses—and the businesses of Lauderdale by the Sea and the community in which I lived; it was all mine.

And, then there was Richard. He worked as a maintenance man at one of the big elegant condominiums on the beach. Normally, most mornings when I passed by, he was out in front with a hose—washing the side walk. I said hello—and he smiled—and said hello back. Occasionally, as I got to know him better, we would chat for a few minutes. Never very long—as there were cameras everywhere he would say—and he wasn’t keen for trouble.  So, most mornings—it was a wave and a hello and a smile and a cordial wish for a good day. We all have people in our lives like this—and I enjoyed his smile and energy as much as he enjoyed mine.

And then, like the tide—I was called back to the gym. And, I would now only walk occasionally. Months later—while walking “my route”—Richard was out in front washing the sidewalk like always. I said hello—and he said, “where have you been?”  I told him I had gone back to the gym—he said he had missed me, asking for my number.

To my surprise, he called me. We met at Starbucks a few times to talk. I gave him one of my books. I learned he was a gifted musician and music was his passion. He was divorced. He had two children. He had been born in Jamaica. I shared my story too. But, most of all Richard was just sweet. He had a contagious smile and caring eyes. And, probably one of the nicest people I knew. Our friendship grew—and he would drop over to the house from time to time. He played his CD for me one day—and his voice and talent were amazing. I’d make him coffee if he’d had a long day—and we continued to talk about life; never shallow conversations. Our friendship was real and honest. I guess that’s what made it so special. When I was out of town and hurricane Irma was barreling in our direction—it was Richard who came over and hauled in all my stuff in and prepared my house for the storm. That’s who he was.

On October 29th he texted me at 8:09 am. The text said . . . “Good morning”. “Thinking bout u.” I respond back—“Good morning! How are you doing?” “im good can i stop by”. “What time?” I replied. “Now” he texted back to me. (I was in the middle of breakfast for my LAL students who live in my house—and still hadn’t had my coffee.) I texted him. “Later?”, I asked? “Ok i will try.” But that day went like a flash and we did not meet.

On November 5th my cell phone rang. It was a 305 area code and a number I didn’t recognize but I answered it anyway. “This is Richard’s friend Noel”, the caller began. “Richard died last night.” I paused, “Richard Friesland I asked?” “No Richard Harvey”, the gentleman replied. What? I paused drawing a blank for a nanosecond as my brain searched for meaning. “WHAT?” I said again. “How did this happen? When?” I was shocked—and told Noel—I needed a few minutes to process this untimely news. Richard was 43 and had young children. “How could this be?”, I thought to myself.

I talked to his brother Ian several times—he sounded just like Richard. I attended his funeral two weeks ago.  It was a celebration of his life! But, I miss him today. Without realizing it, he had impacted me in a very subtle and profound way. His brother said he talked about me a lot. I guess I had impacted him too.

As I reflect  on our friendship—I guess you never realize how somebody’s going to impact you—or what meaning they hold in store for you. And, how this “chance encounter” would affect me so deeply today.  I feel him around me. I “hear” his voice and laughter. I wonder if he is one of my guides now? I feel that he is. (My friend Annie confirmed this is in fact so.) And wonder now, if that is why I had such a pull to walk pulling away from the gym? I know there are no coincidences or accidents. I also know that there is no such thing as an inappropriate death.

Before his “graduation from earth school”, his young nephew awoke from a deep slumber—walked into his Mother’s bedroom and said, “Richard can’t stay. He’s got to go.” Two days later Richard was gone from a undiagnosed kidney infection.

I know that there was a love between us that was unexplainable—an undefined intense soul connection—that I for one didn’t understand. Maybe he did?

I think it is important with all the division and fighting, and angst in the world right now—and in the United States in particular, to create a unity with others. At the end of the day—we are all the same—all from the creative source—all with divinity inside. We must throw away the idea of separateness and embrace our Love for one another; one Human Being to another. This much I know is true. I think Richard did too.

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Relationships – More Than Meets the Eye

Life—is bigger than we know. And I know that the same is true with relationships—whether we’re connecting with our dog, our kids, our friends, the ocean or the trees and plants in our garden or the forest outside in nature.  Everything is much bigger than our intellect and ego safely insist and wants to catalog in a neat book or box or pre-set set of rules of how things are or how things can or should be.  Sometimes, they just aren’t.

While walking through the bookstore last weekend, I noticed the racks—and shelves of books and magazines on relationships.  How to start one. How to maintain one. How to fix what’s broken.  Questions that address intimacy, feeling supported, making a contribution in the relationship, flexibility, judgment, jealously, to name a few; this list is almost endless.  I pulled numerous books off the shelves and leafed through the indexes and tables of contents. None of them addressed true soul relationships, except one which noted, Soul mates were seductive and completely silly, the author certainly pooh-poohed the idea that relationships could be made in previous lives.  Really?

So, let me start with the belief or premise that we are eternal and forever and as souls, we come to earth again and again and again; it’s what we do!   In fact, I believe that 2, 3, or 4 lives may be ONE experience for our soul as seen as continuous experience, purpose and growth which we know as lifetimes. For our soul—a traveler between dimensional worlds— some things would just be carried forward. That would include relationships; our likes, dislikes, fears and phobias sure are.

Each time we are here, it is recorded in our Akashic record.  For those unfamiliar, the Akashic Record, is a “dimension of consciousness that contains a vibrational record of every soul and its journey”, writes author Linda Howe.  Every life is recorded and remembered while on Earth and in a modern-day lingo—downloaded here for safe keeping upon death and uploaded upon our return.  The souls that have been here the most and the longest are the old souls who carry the most wisdom.  You can equate this to years in school; the graduate student holds more wisdom than the one in kindergarten; lifetimes are the same sort of way.

But, back to my topic of relationships.  Yes, we have soul relationships with many—but not with all of the people in our lives.  Some people just resonate with you; you feel it, and know it—whether it makes any sense at all.  How many have talked to complete strangers, they just “know”?

In fact, there are many soul relationships and each carries its own distinct “flavor” or “energy”. There is one called cording. In this relationship, one is the “giver” of energy—the other is the “receiver”. Monad relationships are another, for which there are many different types, and are experienced in both directions around a specific issue. A monad is formed for a learning experience, but it is not necessarily a karmic one.  This relationship often feels as if two souls are on a see-saw—the most common being “teacher-student”.  Another soul relationship is one called a task companion.  Usually everyone has at least one task companion; it’s about performing one or many tasks together.  This relationship is very compatible without a lot of arguing or bickering or dealing with intense (karmic) issues. Still another is called essence twins or twin flames.  A twin flame has purpose behind it, driving toward a goal. Real-world examples: Ronald Regan had a soul mate called Nancy. But the discovers of the DNA structure, Watson and Crick, were twin flames, so were Mikhail Gorbachev and his wife Raisa. Often times it is a dicey and challenging relationship, but with great purpose.  Another is major Karma. Karma is an emotionally intense experience which causes a sense of imbalance in the parties. The law of karma is unfinished business—and when you have an emotionally intense experience with someone, you will eventually experience that emotionally intense experience from the perspective of the other participant.  And lastly, that which the media and popular belief have made so famous is the soul mate.  A soul mate is a partner for life. It does not have to be a romantic one. What they don’t say or know, is that your soul mate may be your grandmother, son, daughter or the neighbor next door.

The other thing the books don’t talk about is the fact, that LOVE is a quantum energy.  (So are magnets and gravity.)  And, although we accept these things, we can’t really explain them.  Relationships seems to be like that too. Like the seasons, all relationships change over time—as we grow and change every day.  We don’t all grow at the same pace, nor do relationships.  Within each relationship, we have the potential for compatibility, sympathy and understanding—we also have degrees of tension, antipathy or lack of communication.  All relationships, especially romantic ones bring expansion or growth. Maybe some of the “rules” and “judgments” for ourselves and others must change as well? And while the books are great tools, the real truth, probably is not found on the pages the books, but in the heart—every man and woman’s communion with an external source of hidden knowledge within—which each individual must seek and find for him or herself.

 

“Inspired Wellness from Within”

Cathrine Silver, HC, AADP

Author of Riding the Light Beam; How Every Woman Can Find the Hero Inside”

Cathrine Silver, HC, AADP, is a Certified Holistic Health Coach in private practice in Lauderdale by the Sea, Florida. She works collaboratively with clients on their desires regarding relationships, spirituality, career, physical activity, nutrition and loss. Suffering through her own loss in 2005, Cathrine motivates and empowers others to be the heroes in their own lives, becoming fully responsible for their own happiness, joy and well-being.

Cathrine holds a degree in Speech Communication from the University of Washington, is a graduate of the Institute for Integrative Nutrition and holds certifications in Reiki, Matrix Energetics, Hypnosis, Biological Decoding and Grief Counseling.

Cathrine has two grown sons and a two-year old grandson.

Coming Soon: 

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Grief Recovery with a Heart

Inspired, Caring, Supporting

www.soultosoulretreat.com

Milestones

img_2845It had already been a few weeks of significant change and major life events for me as a boarded another flight out of Ft. Lauderdale ten days ago. I was headed for Boston’s Logan International; my youngest son David, was getting married to a beautiful young woman named Hannah. They had fallen in love seven years prior while they were both in college.  Now they were marking the beginning of yet another cycle in their relationship; a vow to each other and commitment to their future together.

Weeks before, I had celebrated my Mother’s 85th birthday with my siblings and their families on the cool Pacific Ocean in the picturesque town of Cannon Beach, Oregon.  Thirteen days later my Mother would pass unexpectedly in her sleep; a surprise to all. She, on the soul level, was complete.  The end of another cycle; her transition was proof as shocking and surreal as it seemed to us, upon receiving the heartbreaking phone call.  We were all together again. This time at her memorial service appropriately held in the First Hill neighborhood at the historic Trinity Episcopal Parish in Seattle.  This was a place of memories; she had been married there—so had my brother.  She had held a similar service where we sat upon her own Mother’s passing—my grandmother and my namesake; I remember that, so many years ago.   History on many levels as I learned that her Father had helped to found the still beautiful old English Gothic Revival landmark; milestones. . . .

At my son’s wedding, I would be seeing my ex-husband and his new wife. He was a reminder of another milestone: my painful divorce in 2006. I would be saying hello to my aging ex-mother-in-law, seeing my happy, energetic red-headed two-year old grandson, my oldest son Joshua and his wife Jessica, and meeting Hannah’s parents and sisters for the first time.

I had vowed to myself to show up powerful, balanced, peaceful and loving.  I felt, I had fulfilled that promise—to myself:  for me that was another milestone and cycle that was complete.  I had been working towards that resolution for the last ten years.  It was the mastery inside that I strove for daily, and my compassion and evenness was proof that day.  These events, coming like hard packed snowballs, one after another, certainly acted as good barometers for not only myself—but can be markers, for all of us—on how far we’ve come, or how much work on ourselves we have left to do. No denial or illusion would mask any remaining sorrow, grief, anger or emotional hurt which remained.

Milestones— those major events in our lives are happening all the time to everyone.  They are defined as a “significant event or stage in the life, progress, development, or life of a person, or of a nation.”  We often think of birth, death, divorce, and marriage as the biggest and I believe they serve as our greatest teachers in life.

Each and every one of those events could have been a traumatic emotional sand trap; life’s hazards of sorts; “Watch Out!” However, in the center of any storm, you can stand as the unmoved mover and reside at the place of stillness within.  What comes to mind as I write this blog, is the merry-go-rounds they had in parks when I grew up.  You could more easily stand the ride if you could get to the middle of the quickly moving circular metal platform—a brightly painted spinning disc with welded grab bars called fun!   On the outer edges the ride was definitely more dizzying and much harder to hang on.  Isn’t life like that too?  How easy or difficult is it to get to the center of ourselves—our eternal core of strength when there is so much change happening so quickly? This can be dizzying too. The core of internal strength, please remember, is that which we carry inside ourselves.  It is in everyone. It is that piece of the divine that so many dismiss as separate, and external from our very being.  But, acknowledging this I AM strength is a gift we can access at any time; it’s there for the asking.

And then I wonder and ask, do we need to be more like the leaf on the river, always being guided around the rocks and undercurrents? When we are able to trust this always spinning revolution and know that our lives are co-created by our complete and whole beingness including that God-part within; we are like the leaf.   Or are we barely hanging on for dear life, dizzy, shaken, and too weak and unable to stand upright?

I have come to believe the Wheel of Fortune—represents the wheel of life.  It is a powerful metaphor for our lives; our milestones.  It continually moves—up and down.  It is our job to stand in the center.  At the highest level, writes Pamela Eakins, the wheel is seen as “the wheel of consciousness and a wheel of evolving destiny.”  She continues, “The Wheel of Fortune is seen as a path that brings individuality into alignment with the movement of the Cosmos.”

When necessary these past weeks, I felt strong.  I felt compassion.  I have allowed myself to be vulnerable.  I have been loving. I am at peace.  I felt like I have stood at the center of the wheel. I feel like I am in alignment with the Universe.  I have pulled on this strength within and I invite you to do the same.

“As the world turns,

so do I.

When I change for the good,

I can touch the sky.”

Wings of Change

Inspired Wellness Within

Cathrine Silver, HC, AADP

http://www.cathrinesilver.com

KIDS: Natural and Logical Consequences

When Joshua, my oldest was five, I enrolled him in El Paso Country Day School.  We were stationed at Ft. Bliss military base and living up near the hospital in field grade military quarters; there were big problems with the small local elementary school just outside the military gates. I wanted his first experience and exposure to school be as positive as possible; after all wouldn’t this in someway determine his future?  My husband was doing his internship and residency and spend inhuman hours at the hospital; I have the pictures to prove it—even today.

One day exasperated, I confess in a conversation with Susan Jordan, PhD, assistant to the founder of the school, that I would never get Joshua to school on time without the morning drama that eventually ended up with me upset.  Was yelling really necessary to get him to move in the morning so we could get to school on time? I guess I was seeking answers; needing help.

Her response was utterly astounding to me.  She simply advised, “let him get dressed at school if he is not ready when it is time to leave the house.” I was speechless.  “I can’t do that”, I instinctually responded and added,  “He will come to school in his pajamas!”

 

Sweetly, she smiled and answered my protest,  “Let him know what time you are leaving,” I listened intently.  She continued with the precise but simple instructions.  “Tell him when you are leaving, and if he is not ready, he can get dressed at school. Tell him that you will put his clothes in a bag and that he can get dressed in my office.  Then upon arriving, bring him into my office and set his bag of clothes on my desk.  He can get dressed in here.  And, I will see you in the afternoon, with his sleepware in the bag; you can pick it up off my desk.”

She then explained this parenting technique called Natural and Logical consequences.  It puts the responsibility on the child. The child always has a choice.  If Joshua chose to get dressed, for example, at home, then the experience he has is different than choosing to play with toys and not be ready. Then by his inaction he must get dressed at school. His other option is to get dressed at home before leaving. Each choice the child makes brings a new experience from his or her decision. Each a valuable learning experience based on his/her choice.  But the responsibility is put on their shoulders; not yours.

I processed this new concept, asking myself, was I brave enough to try this novel approach?  At least to me it was different than anything I had known at the time.  Something I was totally unfamiliar with, however, it certainly sounded like sage advice and something that would support a new healthier routine each morning getting out of the house.

Morning came. Joshua was still playing when it was time to head for school.  I had followed her instructions. I loaded Joshua and David into the car.  His school clothes neatly in a brown grocery bag, and ready for him to put on upon his arrival at school.  However, when we pulled up—Joshua was a bit alarmed.  I don’t believe he expected me to carry through with what I had explained to him earlier.  I led him to the office with both his clothes nestled in the bag and his younger brother in tow—riding on my hip.  Susan was there waiting and like the precision of a swiss watch,  I gently handed her the bag and my son’s hand.  No words were exchanged.  Only a passing smile and an exchange of eye contact; the rest was in her hands. I had done my part for now.

The following morning, I again followed the new routine that Susan had schooled me in.  This time however, Joshua was half way dressed when we arrived; scrambling to dress in the car.  He finished dressing in Susan’s office that morning too.  The big shift came on day 3.  This time he was dressed and ready for school.  I never again had to say a word.  He was always ready; the drama gone.  As a matter of fact, when his brother David was around 5 or 6, there was a distraction one morning—probably a video game—I honestly do not remember, but David was not ready for school.  It was Joshua, who I overheard, telling his brother to get ready for school “DAVE, YOU DON’T WANT ‘THE BAG’ ! ”   I smiled and we headed out the door for school. It was a lesson for my kids, but a bigger lesson was for me.  And that made me smile.

“The only Journey is the one within.”

–Rainer Maria Rilke

“Inspired Wellness from Within”

Cathrine Silver, HC, AADP

Dear Dad . . . Open Letter for Father’s Day

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Dad’s 80th Birthday–with siblings:  L to R, Chris, Caryl, Cathrine, Charles Jr

Dear Dad,

I won’t be calling or sending you a card this year, but you already know that, don’t you?  It has been almost a year since your transition—or what I affectionally call ‘your graduation day’ (from earth school).  Your expansion and lessons for this incarnation complete. I cannot be sad; that would be selfish.  I saw your frustrations—exasperations—and vexations prior to your exit. Life did not hold the same pleasures or satisfaction; no words were necessary to explain, I knew. Unexplainable to most, I know you have not left me or anyone dear to you for that matter.   I know you are with me always—everyday—and every moment; divinity hidden behind the veil of mystery. Separation only an illusion.

We all react differently to death. I must say that I know you are around me more now than when you were here physically as my Father.  I know you helped me bury my cat Sasha last October.  In my minds-eye, I heard you tell me “go get your gloves and shovel.” We did that together. To confess, it’s not because I ever felt disconnected  but, because I know a piece of you has stayed with me and I know you understand more of what I’m about; who I am and what I believe.  I know I confused you at times; but that is ok too.  You get me now.  Your understanding has clarity. You exist in a quantum expression entangled with all here on Earth.

We said our good-bye’s in May.  I am grateful.  I never thought about what an example you were to me; I only hoped that I can impart these qualities to my own two sons. I share that now.  Perhaps, that is why we chose these soul relationships this time around?  You my father; I your eldest daughter.

I am grateful you showed me compassion by your way of being; your gentleness, caring, concern and kindness towards others. I say it kept me sane.  This way of being shown through with your customers at Equine House and the way you treated our animals; the horses, adopted dogs and barn cats.

You taught me about unconditional love.  When I married my now ex-husband, you may not have understood, but you assured me that as long as I was happy—you were happy too.  Not all parents can do that.  You stepped up when it counted.

As a young child and young adult, you always respected us—all of us.  You listened and tried your best to solve the crisis at hand;  I appreciated that you listened.  Sometimes, we just need to be heard; I needed to be heard and you were there.

You taught me patience and anticipation.  These were lessons while horseback riding, but they apply to life too.  I believe now they are a metaphor for how we live.  They were not fearful warnings, but common sense practical guidance. It works as well today, as it did decades ago. I know life is a wheel—constantly moving up and down.  Cycles within cycles; patience is key—so is trust. You taught me that too.

You taught me about the simplicity of the the small pleasures perhaps the real secret to life; that satisfaction from within.  The value of spending time with your children.  The side trips along small winding country roads back to the barns from the feed store or the hardware store. You held the space for the family vacations; that once a year camping excursion to The Big Woods camp ground, the Calgary Stampede, Grand Tetons or Yellowstone Park.  Thank you.  I too shared adventures with my sons while they were young.  I know they will one day look back fondly—just as I look back fondly now.  It could have been yesterday.

Most recently, I discovered you always loved to finish your dinner with a dessert. I never realized that growing up; maybe everything was lost in the hustle of school and hurried family dinners.  It was only when I visited those few weeks each year, I discovered this nugget.  I understand Grandfather was like that too—the apple never falls far from the tree.  (smiling) There was a child-like pleasure when Linda ( your wife) and I announced we had a sweet-treat to complete the meal baking in the oven.  A twinkle in your eyes, and smile as a child like innocence couldn’t contain the excitement over the confection presented; an image indelibly seared forever in my mind.  I recall the bakery that we used to visit every trip to Washington in La Conner; that delicious apple dumpling—more like a single serving apple pie!  How cool is that Dad? I found a recipe on line. I know you’ll enjoy it with me—when I make it at home!

And so, on this Father Day—I know you view the world differently these days from your new vantage point; I don’t know how that looks.  You know what I am thinking. You know more about me than I know about myself.  You know many of the secrets of the Universe that I would love to know—and that’s ok. I’ll wait.  But, one thing I do know, is love is something that rends the veil.  It is a multidimensional attribute.  And so, from my soul to yours, I wish you Happy Father’s Day—and Thank you for being you!  Recorded in the history of earth and humanity—that will never change and always be part of who we are—and who we have been and for that I can celebrate this day and all Fathers’ Days to come!

Love Always,

Cathrine

Oh, and no, I won’t forget the Vanilla Ice Cream—I know it wouldn’t be complete without the frozen sweet topping melting over the hot apple dessert!  LOL  Yum. 🙂

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Apple Dumpling ala mode, La Conner Bakery, La Conner, Washington.

Free, Fabulous and Loving Me! Happy Valentines Day.

Self Love 3Last week as I was dashing to meet a friend for dinner.  I realized how free I was at this time in my life.  I had no children to worry about—no spouse to consult and no curfew.

I believe that just as a relationship gives us growth and expansion, so does not having one. No relationship allows for our growth and expansion in a different way. It is an appreciation of ourselves. I am not talking about about conceit, self-importance or narcissism. It is the discovery of our inner core and strengths; who we are:  Our talents. Our Likes and dislikes. The joy of being alive. Our beauty.  A period of getting to know and love our authentic self! To know that we are enough—and to love ourselves is something worth celebrating—not just one day, but 365 others as well.

For me, the journey has been one of unlearning.  I was a wife and Mother for many years. (still a Mother—but my adults kids live in different parts of the country and are not underfoot.) One of the first things I used to think about—besides getting everyone to school on time, was, what shall I fix for dinner?  I don’t do that anymore.  Funny, I always used to joke about wanting a “wife.”  You know someone to do all those errands, deliveries and chores—right?  Does anyone relate?  Now, it is for me.

Someone might call that self centered.  Years ago, I would have recoiled from that label.  It was always about someone else, placing myself second, third, or fourth in the line of family demands.  Most women flinch from the thought of personal descriptions that include the word self.  As Sarah Breathnach so eloquently wrote, “this self-defeating modesty eliminates a lot of flattering adjectives: self-poised, self-assured, self-confident.  So why do we shrink from self-admiration?”

Perhaps, at some pivotal moment growing up, our Mother or other authority figure humiliated us and viewed our healthy wants as shameful and selfish; we were made to feel wrong.  So, isn’t it about time, we begin to set our boundaries and put ourselves first?  I am not suggesting we neglect our children or spouse, if you have those relationships currently in your life, but I am suggesting we begin to reframe our wants, desires and needs, and begin to radiate the vibrant glow of an intelligent, loving, self-possessed woman, shinning our light out unto the world!

I trust and know that when the timing is right, I will again be with a true life-partner.  One that supports my desires and honors me for me.  Until that time I am enjoying my freedom and all that comes from living my truth, honoring my authentic, artistic, creative, caring and compassionate self.

“What a desire!  . . . To live in peace with that word: Myself!” (Sylvia Ashton-Warner)

Happy Valentines Day to the best parts of you!

 

Pondering the question of L-O-V-E

Love is a part of life. Relationships are part of our “primary food.” Love is a primary food and love is life.  A loving relationship—with ourself, others—and even with the world at large has the ability to nourish and nurture us on many levels. Relationships are a part of our wholeness and our wellness; they too can be healthy or in a state of dis-ease.  And, they are bigger than we perhaps are willing to admit; their importance cannot be underestimated.

Relationships seem at first glance rather permanent.  But, just like the Wheel of Fortune in the Tarot—the wheel continues to turn.  Sometimes we are on the top—sometimes we are on the bottom. Was that beginning or . . .  end?   Hum, could it be the rise and the fall or  rather the upward and downward movement? That continual change and push-pull polarity of all things in life that seem to jerk us around and shake our world.  Many of us have the perception that things won’t really change—or don’t only to wake up one morning and the world of our relationship we have known8059695 for months, years, or decades is no longer, and then if we dare— and are brave—may ask, what happened? 

Relationships seem to be mini-cycles within a larger cycle of our lives.  Are they meant for our learning and evolution? Our lessons and growth?  We all have different relationships within the context of our lives. We are after all sons, and daughters—many of us are parents—including step and adopted children—or siblings—sisters’ or brothers’.  We also have relationships that are meaningful with our beloved pets that effect us in tremendous ways and are felt deeply within our hearts. I know my dynamics are different with my kids, my parents—my siblings and my friends; each carry a different “flavor.”

I haven’t shared publicly about my painful divorce ten years ago. I know for me, this was both shock and revelation and took me to a private voyage within the depths of my soul—and being.  I had been committed to my relationship—and my many years of marriage—and to my husband. I was in state of grief when it ended; devastated in fact by the news.  I thought it was forever; isn’t that what I had promised with all my heart and my vows some 25 years before?  Sometimes we are lucky and the forces bend and the complete fairy tale comes true and you live happily ever after; yet for many of us we don’t have that “happily ever after.” Why?

My husband had moved on—his journey—very different than what my own has been.  He with his new family; I as part of my enlightening spiritual passage and journey.  What else could I call it?  I’ve had the opportunity to grow soulfully beyond what would have been possible had my marriage remained in tact.   Was that the purpose?  Was the marriage complete?  Were he and I complete; the energy of the universe no longer supported this relationship or to keep the marriage together? Growth and evolution at the soulful level?  The ancient Chinese philosopher Chuang Tuz,wrote: “Heaven and Earth and I are living together, and all things and I form an inseparable unity.” The answer was, yes; we were complete.

For those who have experienced the feeling of love—there is no greater feeling.  We seem to walk around in an altered state for a period of time.  Is this nature’s way of bringing two souls together? A binding of fate or destiny?  Or are relationships catalysts for something bigger? Are they completed or finished in another moment in time, something begun before?  Is the God-particle inside us directing a way to complete this evolutionary cycle set in motion before we incarnated as a living-breathing human being on the earth plane and third dimension? A contract we signed with invisible ink? Perhaps I didn’t read the fine print, have you ever felt the same? And, Could the word “love”—have a different meaning that what we have assigned and use to define? After all, we know what it feels like, but can we really define it’s purpose? We know the love of a puppy.  The love we have for our parents.  The love we have for our friends.  The love for our children.  And, the love for our spouse, partner or significant other whether we are formally married or not;  we have made a formal commitment to someone; we are soulfully linked, and you know it—until we’re not.  Yes, there are often times children involved, but its purpose seems much grander; children complicit in our agreements.

Could L-O-V-E even be viewed as an acronym for something astronomical, celestial or astral?  Many things have a much different perspective when we view them from a distance.  Let’s say, standing on the observation deck of the Eiffel Tower, the Space Needle, the Empire State Building or whatever majestic observation deck you choose—even if it is the Grand Canyon, or from space.  We look down and from our new vantage point see the word clearly L-O-V-E.  Could it be . . . that . . .

L  is actually about = LEARNING: “The acquisition of knowledge or skills through experience, study, or by being taught: [AS MODIFIER]: an important learning process.”  (Oxford Dictionary)

From our higher vantage point, we could know and view all close and personal relationships as a learning experience. (And could even be expanded to our collective conscious and the world at large.)  Good, bad and ugly we learn something from every interaction we have—especially our interpersonal or intimate ones.  I heard once that intimacy could be defined as “into me you see.”  Wow.  If relationships are about vulnerability, trust and forgiveness is there any greater learning than the close relationships of our family or spouse—and ourself.  What better way to learn lessons of forgiveness, tolerance, and compassion.  To experience joy, bliss, and delight or the experiential emotional feelings of sorrow, sadness and heartache—or grief?  We may call in the vast multitude of lessons—unique, undefinable, varied.  Each personal and each customized for our greatest growth and Love experience.  A lesson of the heart that will be etched in our human experience forever as unique as a fingerprint.

O”  Thinking about the “O”, observation was the first word that came up,  but it seemed too passive and without movement; after all relationships like everything are dynamic and changing—and can be incitement for change.  What about “oracle”?  Could that be what the ”O” represented?  Oracles use their intuition, their innate knowing and their wisdom to advise others.  No, that didn’t fit.  When you are in a dynamic committed relationship, paradoxically we can be quite nearsighted;  able to see others’ and their folly’s and missteps, but rarely our own.  It is almost as our “sight” is blocked on purpose like a mirage—which seems to clear when the journey is complete or karma is finished.

During a walking meditation, it occurred to me, the ”O” was more like the yin/yang symbol—ah, the seen and unseen, soma and psyche—all aspects of one continuous process in the ever-changing elements: a unified system of relationships playing out with grand purpose.  (Spirit, Emotion, Mind/intellect/, Body/physical).

To the Chinese the Yin/Yang was the system and symbol of polar and complimentary aspects.  Relationships can be all that and much more.  This symbol stood for a system about motion, cyclic patterns and a process of transformation where life is everything or so it appears. Relationship’s fit there.   The balance of what we would accept as the harmonic and flourishing aspects—and the unbalance of distress, tragedy and heartbreak. A relationship elicits many aspects including courage and self-esteem, happiness, confidence.  Trust, fun, humor, and paradoxically—distrust, anger, fear, frustration, inner resistance, sadness, or jealousy. These are expressed and experienced both within ourselves and within the many relationships we share in life and in love.  Alas, maybe the “O” is all these bound into the endless circle of life . . . never finished . . . it is the halo we fail to recognize as the creations of divinity: eternal and forever in human form.

V  is for = VIBRATION- Atoms, fields of energy, law of attraction, and fields of possibility. All Vibration. Do these unseen electromagnetic forces play a major role in determining the internal properties of objects, people, places and occurrences we encountered in our daily lives; which would therefore include all of our relationships as well.  Everything, has an energetic vibration. For example, essential oils have a vibration – rose vibrates at 320 MHz! Thoughts, herbs, food, songs, art or literature.  Even the earth—a vibration to know to many as Schumann Resonance carries a certain frequency. ALL have energy and vibration. If you surround yourself with high-vibrating objects and think high-vibrating thoughts of love, peace and compassion, you cannot help but attract similar energies!

Relationships each carry a unique, shall we say, energy imprint, frequency, meaning and experience; after all no two energy patterns are alike.  And, ‘Energy is Everything.’ Are we “downloaded” information to complete these lessons—like invisible “tractor” beams—agreed upon before we descend on earth in our corporeal human forms? Or do we come with this preset potential—of what we would like and choose to experience for our learning and growth?

We all have heard the expression “good vibes— bad vibes” especially popular in the 60-70’s.  We clearly feel that resonance of vibration which a person carries at the moment; wavelike and changing. The obvious happy or sad. Vibration and energy patterns are part of our nature even if we are not aware of such things.  So, what is the trigger of attracting our “perfect mate?” The law of attraction states that “two people are brought together because of their vibrational equivalents and the because of their alignments they ‘recognize’ in each other.” Harville Hendricks says we attract the perfect partner based on our primary caregiver—with both their positive and negative traits. He states it is the negative, challenging aspects (low vibration) that we are brought together to heal and work through.  The end goal to reach the point of “Conscious Partnership”.

If we take the assumption, as all great Master’s have spoken of, that the Universe that we live in is a representation of the infinite presence of God who is love—then we have come into being to experience just that—love.  So, in our limited restricted presence of self, how do we experience this? When we participate in a relationship—whether it is with your spouse or the new kitten that showed up at your doorstep—is it all aimed at wading through your human stuff of the ego—to realize who we are and “open” our heart? To get out of head, put down our shields, be vulnerable and to experience this feeling we call love. To do this we  “call in” the best person for the job to assist us in this growth and learning experience; one that will challenge us like no other. (And, it looks different for everyone!) We are all at different stages, and one is not better than another.  It is just different. The V is the frequency of where our attractor beam is at the moment.  Always changing, always expanding—always turning—like the universe and the God particle within.  And until it is complete—whether one date or a lifetime it can serve as the greatest catalyst for something else.  We are always given the opportunity to learn, to value ourselves, and perhaps begin to understand our personal energy of self-love. If we get the lesson, we must not be afraid of using our internal guidance and know we are done; when it stops feeling good. We must say,  “I am not interested in participating in this kind of energetic exchange anymore.” After all, Loving myself is the willingness and ability to allow me the right to make my own choices for myself without any insistence that I satisfy others.  That’s unconditional love; and that’s a vibration worth loving!

“Where is your love? Why is your love?  What is your love?  . . . The grace of love heals that which has been divided.  The Grace of loves unites that which Creation has divided for the very purpose of awakening it’s own love.”

E = EVERLASTING OR ETERNITY—No matter how short or long our experience is with whatever relationship we call and choreograph, it is forever seared into the memory of our quantum DNA; our akashic inheritance stored in the Cave of Creation.  The lesson given in love complete; possibly unrealized in the moment as human. Retained in the god particle of our being. And since we are eternal and forever—so is this experience we call “Love.”

So, what is love?  It has been written about, sung about and studied since the beginning of time.  As humans, we are forever seeking, searching, holding, entering and trying to experience the love Relationship—of the divine—the feeling from “home”—  Love hurts and love heals.  Love is painful, sorrowful and brings sadness.  Love is also joyful, brings happiness and pleasure.  Perhaps, love is us searching and receiving itself—us. Both the simplest and hardest: the paradox of life; our forever quest. Love is our greatest lesson; love is the relationship with ourself.  We participate willingly in the game we call life. In the end, it is trusting, faith and compassion which are the glue of L-O-V-E. Our first and last love is  self-love; maybe that is the real test.

“Love unveils its dream before you as you enter into love’s scared sphere.  You too, stand unveiled and this begins Love’s evolutionary metamorphosis.” Pamela Eakins

“Inspired Wellness from Within”

Cathrine Silver, HC, AADP

Cathysilverhealth@gmail.com

http://www.cathrinesilver.com

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