Willard

You know, every once in a while, someone comes along—and you have a hard time forgetting them. Maybe it’s a lover? A teacher? A bestie from school? Willard was none of those things, but an unforgettable pillar of strength, courage and love.

I had picked up (another) Cathy in Denver. We knew each other from the Pineal Tones choirs, and she offered to join me on the last leg of my journey home. I wanted to camp,  and being by myself in the woods—didn’t seem like such an astute idea. There was always safety in numbers, right?

So, at her suggestion, we had landed at the Loft Mountain Campground, which is part of the Shenandoah National Park in Virginia, also known as The Blue Ridge Mountains. The forecast called for rain, this particular Wednesday, our first day in the park, so we ventured off to Mt. Vernon—beloved home of George Washington, and a figure near and dear to my heart. The next day, we agreed to hike down to what was called

Lower Doyles River Falls, weather cooperating. And, so it was that we set off down the trail to the falls. We were just getting started when we came upon an older gentleman standing off the path dressed appropriately in hiking boots, and wearing long hiking style khaki pants, buttoned shirt, army green fishing vest, cap and glasses on a cord hanging around his neck. We stopped to say hello, and he showed us a small acorn under his magnifying glass. He confided that he was an artist—but seemed somewhat shaken after our conversation—as we parted ways—-asking if it was alright if we gave him a hug good-bye.

I had seen him at his campsite when we slowly drove the asphalt drive into the campground, looking for the spot to we would call home for the next three days. However—somehow his apparent circumstances stood out from the “normal” RV,  family, couple or weekend hiker; he was sorting things at his picnic table, as we passed by.

After our “chance” encounter, we visited him several more times, and invited him to our campsite two nights later to enjoy the campfire. He shared his artwork, which was neatly contained in a folder. His story seems unremarkable—just a guy traveling by himself—camping—until you realize that he was 86 years old and had gotten wind that “they” were getting ready to place him in a nursing home. What, I thought? There was nothing about this man that warranted placing him in a facility for the aged or ill. He

 shared that he had lived in Vermont for 40+ years—built his home there. His wife of many years had passed several years before and he had a daughter who lived in the LA area. He had a sister that wanted him to live with her in Virginia.

Getting wind of obviously someone’s else’s plans for him, he told us that he bought a copy of Consumer Reports—found the most reliable and economical car they advised and traded in his old one. He found a close-out tent for $24.00 and collected the rest of the miscellaneous camping supplies he would need—and off he went. Arizona was where he spent last winter and felt he would be heading back that way when the weather began to turn. He knew he didn’t want to be around the inclement winters because as he said, he didn’t want to slip on the ice and break a hip.

My mind since, has reflected back to my own Mother and her circumstances and her desire to live her remaining days in her home; a wish my brother-in-law refused to honor. Things are not always as they seem. But, Willard’s story brings up many ideas about parking people in nursing homes—when they are in fact vibrant, and “not ready” to be housed in group homes. Where is the freedom to choose? And, where does that truth lie?

As we were parting good-bye, we wished him well on his journey. He wished us well too. There was a soul connection and something profound and unspoken, we all knew; we could feel it. We also knew that there would be no way to remain in contact; this was it. No email. A sister’s address for legal purposes. A flip phone with limited airtime. No text. I had the knowing it was just the way it was meant to be. As we said our good-byes, he stopped. “You know, on the trail, that first day, I was a bit shaken,” he confided. I had witnessed his welling-up but had said nothing. I saw your light, he said, and it startled me. I smiled and so did Cathy. “I am keeping this as a reminder, he softly noted looked us in the eyes and then slid the tiny acorn into his shirt pocket. I smiled again and gave him another hug. We walked away.

Ironically, the acorn, is a symbol of strength and power. That was who he was—and that was what he held in his hand. It is the same for us. No matter where our life starts—or from our own humble beginnings, we All have the ability, just like the Willard and the tiny acorn. We have the strength like the mighty oak; it’s not inside some of us. It’s inside All of us! We need only to believe. Namasté

 

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About Cathrine Silver

Cathrine Silver, HC, AADP, is a Certified Holistic Health Coach in private practice in Lauderdale by the Sea, Florida. She works collaboratively with clients on their desires regarding disease, relationships, spirituality, and loss. Suffering through her own loss in 2005, Cathrine motivates and empowers others to be the heroes in their own lives, becoming fully responsible for their own happiness, joy and well-being.

Cathrine holds a degree in Speech Communication from the University of Washington, is a graduate of the Institute for Integrative Nutrition and holds certifications in Reiki, Matrix Energetics, Hypnosis, Biological Decoding and Grief Counseling. She is the author of the book, Riding the Light Beam: How Any Woman Can Find the Hero

www.Cathrinesilver.com (Website)

www.cathysilver.me (Blog)

cathysilverhealth@gmail.com (email)

Cathy Silver Holistic Healing (Facebook)

A piece of Cake

Sometimes things are just plain unexplainable, period. We call it synchronicity and coincidence, but speaking now, for myself, amazes me whenever these “chance” alignments occur. I’ve heard it referred to ‘physics with an attitude’. (And, infinite LOVE is at the center of physics.) Examples in real life though, help us to believe that the Universe conspires to bring like-minded things together in a vibrational sequence. It’s about living in the moment, being open to possibilities and certainly going with the flow.

Some things just seem to be beyond our control. Or perhaps, everything is?  Are we riding in the passenger seat, while larger invisible life forces known as our higher self and soul drive things around us based on our very personal intent? We are after all co-creators, right? Or sometimes, we deliver the messages of what others’ need to hear—or are in need of? Do we serve as divine message carrier?  More and more, I am beginning to feel this is Truth with a capital T.

I was out on the Olympic Peninsula for just about the entire month of July. I had volunteered to make dinner for friends, and the decision as to the menu was entirely up to me. After a number of considerations—I decided homemade pizza—sans homemade crust; store bought refrigerated crust would have to do this round. Scrolling mentally through my mental list of ingredients, I quickly realized, my pizza stones were at home in Florida. I was spending more and more time on the Peninsula, so, why not invest in the proper equipment and leave it here? Easy thought and idea, huh?  As you know, many things do not go as planned, and this was no exception!

With instant delivery, overnight service and that giant known as Amazon, I assumed this purchase would be a piece of cake.  My Friend Brad didn’t have a mailbox at his Sequim home, but I thought for sure, Amazon would have lockers nearby. After all, Ft. Lauderdale certainly did, and I snubbed them every time I walked into the local Whole Foods.

To make a long story short, Amazon and Walmart did not have what I wanted—or should I say—couldn’t get it to me with the speed I had become accustom to. It was Wednesday and dinner was Friday. Plan B: There had to be one.  

Now Sequim is the gateway to the Olympic rain forest, the Pacific Ocean and the playground for hikers and RV’s. But, it’s often a challenge to manifest things in an instant or so I thought!  Therefore, an idea occurred. I’ll call this Plan B. I would drive the 40 minutes to the touristy town of Port Townsend. I had visited there a few years ago, and It seemed to me there was a small kitchen store. They certainly would have the large pizza stone I was in search of. And, so the adventure unfolded. 

On the way into town, I stopped at the Goodwill. You know, one man’s unwanted clutter is another man’s treasure. No pizza stone, but a bargain for a William-Sonoma muffin tin. 🙂 Onward ho . . . I had spoken to Brad’s neighbor on Whidbey Island to see if she was available to meet in PT for lunch. “Oh, Cathy,” she said, I am elbows deep in cookie dough, going to be at my daughter’s house tomorrow.” “Next time, raincheck,” and I hung up the phone.  During our brief phone conversation, Joan had suggested the Mercantile Quimper, just beyond the ferry loading dock. The store was cute, and had a lot of stuff—in fact small 12” pizza stones, but that wasn’t what I had in mind. I continued my quest . . . the cooking store, the Green Eyeshade, back to What’s Cookin’, Don’s pharmacy (which still had a working soda fountain), Henries Hardware, and back up the hill out of town. I had passed Habit for Humanity’s store on the way in and decided to give it a go. Who knew what I might find in peoples’ discarded household articles and unwanted items? I parked, and spoke to an employee loading chairs into an elderly woman’s Toyota as I walked to the entrance. “Pizza stone, yea, we get them from time to time, but they’re not a high demand item.” I nodded my head in agreement, I guessed he was right. And, this was where things got interesting . . . 

I followed his instructions and soon found myself in their “kitchen” department. Quickly, another female employee greeted me, and asked me what I was looking for. I explained my quest—and she shook her head. “The woman who runs this department is off today, but I haven’t seen one lately.” Shortly, a conversation ensued as I was obviously talking to another cook like myself and we were discussing the finer points of homemade pizza and alternatives to my pizza stone dilemma. Minutes later, a slender 40ish looking man in a blue t-shirt and jeans appeared from around the corner. “Excuse me”, he said politely, “I am sorry, but I overheard your conversation, and I have a pizza stone if you’d like it.” Wow, that would be fantastic I thought and the woman and I glanced quickly at each other. “No charge—I will give it to you.” He continued, “my wife doesn’t like it, and she told me to get rid of it. You can have it.” I shook my head and smiled, “sure, that would be great. Thank you.” 

He, Matt—now I knew his name, had another stop in town before heading back to his house. We traded numbers, and he said he would text me when he arrived back at his house. In the meantime, I decided a quick bite to eat would kill the hour or so wait, and based on the suggestions from the women at the counter, I headed down the road to find The Cup for a bowl of chowder.  “Wow. That was divine intervention” said another older employee who stood behind the counter as I headed out the door. Yes, it was! 

It was a cute little restaurant in what looked like an old remolded house—painted latte-brown with a few scattered red umbrella’s and some outdoor furniture—for those celebrated warm days in the Northwest. I was seated and ordered my chowder, grabbed a piece of the local paper to read and I waited for my food. As I paid my tab, I wanted to leave the waitress a larger tip and dug into my wallet to pull out a Susan B. Anthony coin that had been riding in my wallet for months. I looked up, most of the lunch crowd had disappeared, and I caught her eye. “I’m leaving this dollar and I wanted to let you know, it wasn’t a quarter—with the other singles on the change tray,” I said smiling. “I collect those for my grandson, thank you”, she said. We chatted for a minute about her grandkids, and then I got up and headed the towards to the door. 

Now, I happen to be wearing my purple WASHINGTON husky wind breaker that my father had sent me several years ago—and a man working behind the counter looked at me, and asked me, “Did you play ball for Washington?” “Yes, actually I did—about a 100 years ago”—and smiled back, and stoping to talk for a moment. I can’t remember the exact sequence of our chat, but I had to be me—and shortly into our “light” conversation, I stopped and said, “You know, you were born magnificent.” He was wearing a baseball cap and pulled it over his eyes and bent his head downward, placing his hands on the high counter in front of me that separated us. I continued, “Maybe that’s the real reason I came in today?” “You know we all carry divinity inside—but sometimes we just need to be reminded.” We are all part of the One.” With that, I detected, for whatever reason—and whatever his story caused a welling-up deep emotional reaction.  I reached over to the counter, where he had laid his hands, and put mine on top of his, giving his fingers a squeeze. He gave my little finger a squeeze back.  He had had all he could take and I silently walked out the door. 

Whatever your Truth, sometimes we all need to be reminded of our divine magnificence. I left the restaurant, and followed my GPS to Matt’s house, where I happily accepted his gift, and my new pizza stone. I left Port Townsend with a smile. There were so many things to be grateful for—and the Universe had conspired in a most unique and exciting way to make everything happen perfectly. I just followed the cosmic crumbs! It had been a day of soft sweetness—and the Universe had delivered me a delicious piece of cosmic cake.

 

LOVE IN THE AIR

Several years ago now—I resisted the gym, which, I must say I thought was strange, but there was such a pull to be outside.  It had been coming—but this particular year—I couldn’t go back to the stuffy atmosphere and stationary workout equipment I knew so well. Something strong was calling me, so I went with it. I called it Gaia. I needed to walk—to feel the fresh air and sit by the beach. To commune with the palm trees and sand, the unique tropical birds and big bright green iguanas who watched me, silently; weird moveable eyelids and their prehistoric nature all became part of my experience.  And then one day it became routine. Every morning for almost two years I walked the neighborhood. In the process—I said hello to new faces and others became familiar on my walk each morning; soon I had old friends that I passed each day waving to and greeting with a smile. I watched the neighborhood change as houses were put up for sale and new families moved in. Other houses were remodeled, and their new beautiful renovations updated the quiet streets. Lawn and maintenance crews were always present somewhere along the way like standard fixtures. So were the police, waitresses—and the businesses of Lauderdale by the Sea and the community in which I lived; it was all mine.

And, then there was Richard. He worked as a maintenance man at one of the big elegant condominiums on the beach. Normally, most mornings when I passed by, he was out in front with a hose—washing the side walk. I said hello—and he smiled—and said hello back. Occasionally, as I got to know him better, we would chat for a few minutes. Never very long—as there were cameras everywhere he would say—and he wasn’t keen for trouble.  So, most mornings—it was a wave and a hello and a smile and a cordial wish for a good day. We all have people in our lives like this—and I enjoyed his smile and energy as much as he enjoyed mine.

And then, like the tide—I was called back to the gym. And, I would now only walk occasionally. Months later—while walking “my route”—Richard was out in front washing the sidewalk like always. I said hello—and he said, “where have you been?”  I told him I had gone back to the gym—he said he had missed me, asking for my number.

To my surprise, he called me. We met at Starbucks a few times to talk. I gave him one of my books. I learned he was a gifted musician and music was his passion. He was divorced. He had two children. He had been born in Jamaica. I shared my story too. But, most of all Richard was just sweet. He had a contagious smile and caring eyes. And, probably one of the nicest people I knew. Our friendship grew—and he would drop over to the house from time to time. He played his CD for me one day—and his voice and talent were amazing. I’d make him coffee if he’d had a long day—and we continued to talk about life; never shallow conversations. Our friendship was real and honest. I guess that’s what made it so special. When I was out of town and hurricane Irma was barreling in our direction—it was Richard who came over and hauled in all my stuff in and prepared my house for the storm. That’s who he was.

On October 29th he texted me at 8:09 am. The text said . . . “Good morning”. “Thinking bout u.” I respond back—“Good morning! How are you doing?” “im good can i stop by”. “What time?” I replied. “Now” he texted back to me. (I was in the middle of breakfast for my LAL students who live in my house—and still hadn’t had my coffee.) I texted him. “Later?”, I asked? “Ok i will try.” But that day went like a flash and we did not meet.

On November 5th my cell phone rang. It was a 305 area code and a number I didn’t recognize but I answered it anyway. “This is Richard’s friend Noel”, the caller began. “Richard died last night.” I paused, “Richard Friesland I asked?” “No Richard Harvey”, the gentleman replied. What? I paused drawing a blank for a nanosecond as my brain searched for meaning. “WHAT?” I said again. “How did this happen? When?” I was shocked—and told Noel—I needed a few minutes to process this untimely news. Richard was 43 and had young children. “How could this be?”, I thought to myself.

I talked to his brother Ian several times—he sounded just like Richard. I attended his funeral two weeks ago.  It was a celebration of his life! But, I miss him today. Without realizing it, he had impacted me in a very subtle and profound way. His brother said he talked about me a lot. I guess I had impacted him too.

As I reflect  on our friendship—I guess you never realize how somebody’s going to impact you—or what meaning they hold in store for you. And, how this “chance encounter” would affect me so deeply today.  I feel him around me. I “hear” his voice and laughter. I wonder if he is one of my guides now? I feel that he is. (My friend Annie confirmed this is in fact so.) And wonder now, if that is why I had such a pull to walk pulling away from the gym? I know there are no coincidences or accidents. I also know that there is no such thing as an inappropriate death.

Before his “graduation from earth school”, his young nephew awoke from a deep slumber—walked into his Mother’s bedroom and said, “Richard can’t stay. He’s got to go.” Two days later Richard was gone from a undiagnosed kidney infection.

I know that there was a love between us that was unexplainable—an undefined intense soul connection—that I for one didn’t understand. Maybe he did?

I think it is important with all the division and fighting, and angst in the world right now—and in the United States in particular, to create a unity with others. At the end of the day—we are all the same—all from the creative source—all with divinity inside. We must throw away the idea of separateness and embrace our Love for one another; one Human Being to another. This much I know is true. I think Richard did too.

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Rewriting Our Future

That sounds impossible —-even the title makes no sense—the future hasn’t happened yet, right? Maybe we live here with the capacity of many “future potentials” which exist just beyond our conscious awareness? There are many signs and indicators that says this is so. Science just believes what it sees—and then if it proves different—there is disbelief by many, just ask Dr. Bruce Lipton or Alfred Wegener. So, why wait for science to catch up?

We are creatures of habit. That serves us well sometimes and sometimes not so much. We have tremendous imagination to create new inventions and new innovations when we are open to new ideas and new ways of being; the Universe is always conspiring to help us succeed, but so often we stay stuck, resisting and refusing to let go. How’s that working for you?

I remember reading a story about a pair of slippers. The gentleman had been given a new pair for Christmas—and in spite of the beauty of the new pair he was given—he refused to wear them—insisting that the old holy thread bare ones were just fine.  I think he said his toes fit well!  A silly story, but how often do we refuse to slip “them” on and enjoy the feel of something new and toss the old ones out because they are no longer useful? Ideas and beliefs are that way too. Fear keeps us stuck in our past.

We can’t imagine a new future until we are ready to let go of what isn’t working. Relationships, jobs, and even our health fall into this category. Our lives give us challenges and ways to grow, but too many times, we do the same things over and over and then wonder—-how do I dig myself out—when we’re looking up at the light from the bottom of the well? It’s important in our daily lives, not just in philosophical meanderings on someone’s blog.  If travel is done in a multidimensional state, it is almost instantaneous. If we are multidimensional beings (of light)—then at some level, we have that ability as well. What better place than in our thoughts? We do it in our dreams every night.

Consciously, some have more access to it than others, but everyone has this ability.  Yet, just like our gentleman with the slippers—we have to believe this is so and throw away the old story. Are you ready for a new one? Or at least v.2.0?

What if this gentleman who received the new slippers—decides to walk next door—in his NEW slippers to thank his neighbor for receiving his package from UPS—which on this day required a signature? As he rings her doorbell—he realizes she has company—her sister is visiting. And, in the course of this exchange—meets the new Love of his life. By opening up to new things—even before they happen— changed his future. Letting go of our old story is necessary for healing too! “Ya, can’t sit there and whine”.

If we are multidimensional beings influenced by our multidimensional DNA, we could also assume we are always picking up these signals which may come in the form of electromagnetic waves. (Just ask an astrologer of the influences of space planetary configurations called trines, conjunctions and squares—as well as retrogrades and eclipses and thousands more!) That means we are always receiving messages—but because this is the “planet of free choice,” we have to give our intention to receive–and not resist this new upgrade—otherwise—the old software continues to run—and probably not well—until it eventually just crashes and dies.

So, the bigger question is, what timeline and future potential are you choosing? Which train are you choosing to ride? We all get to rewrite our future using the Quantum (invisible to our 5 senses) Ink. Think of it like using a black light—the writing is there ready to be seen, lived, viewed and used—we just need to believe that the light is already on. We must turn our head to see the writing and acknowledge that it’s there.

Can you see that you are so much bigger than you see in the mirror? Do you know and believe that there is a much better potential timeline waiting in the ethers for you? Are you able to see that vision? How can your story be seen as a soul visiting earth for your growth and expansion? How can your experiences cause you to love more? (including yourself) How can you see the magnificence in yourself and others?  How can the biggest challenges teach and heal you?  Even looking at them as teaching experiences changes our experience if we allow it. Maybe it’s finally time to connect with that deep invisible multidimensional part of your DNA—and begin to rewrite your future? Are you ready to wear your new slippers? What will your imagination, upgrade and quantum slippers create for your earthy future? Tell only the story you can tell!

 

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Relationships – More Than Meets the Eye

Life—is bigger than we know. And I know that the same is true with relationships—whether we’re connecting with our dog, our kids, our friends, the ocean or the trees and plants in our garden or the forest outside in nature.  Everything is much bigger than our intellect and ego safely insist and wants to catalog in a neat book or box or pre-set set of rules of how things are or how things can or should be.  Sometimes, they just aren’t.

While walking through the bookstore last weekend, I noticed the racks—and shelves of books and magazines on relationships.  How to start one. How to maintain one. How to fix what’s broken.  Questions that address intimacy, feeling supported, making a contribution in the relationship, flexibility, judgment, jealously, to name a few; this list is almost endless.  I pulled numerous books off the shelves and leafed through the indexes and tables of contents. None of them addressed true soul relationships, except one which noted, Soul mates were seductive and completely silly, the author certainly pooh-poohed the idea that relationships could be made in previous lives.  Really?

So, let me start with the belief or premise that we are eternal and forever and as souls, we come to earth again and again and again; it’s what we do!   In fact, I believe that 2, 3, or 4 lives may be ONE experience for our soul as seen as continuous experience, purpose and growth which we know as lifetimes. For our soul—a traveler between dimensional worlds— some things would just be carried forward. That would include relationships; our likes, dislikes, fears and phobias sure are.

Each time we are here, it is recorded in our Akashic record.  For those unfamiliar, the Akashic Record, is a “dimension of consciousness that contains a vibrational record of every soul and its journey”, writes author Linda Howe.  Every life is recorded and remembered while on Earth and in a modern-day lingo—downloaded here for safe keeping upon death and uploaded upon our return.  The souls that have been here the most and the longest are the old souls who carry the most wisdom.  You can equate this to years in school; the graduate student holds more wisdom than the one in kindergarten; lifetimes are the same sort of way.

But, back to my topic of relationships.  Yes, we have soul relationships with many—but not with all of the people in our lives.  Some people just resonate with you; you feel it, and know it—whether it makes any sense at all.  How many have talked to complete strangers, they just “know”?

In fact, there are many soul relationships and each carries its own distinct “flavor” or “energy”. There is one called cording. In this relationship, one is the “giver” of energy—the other is the “receiver”. Monad relationships are another, for which there are many different types, and are experienced in both directions around a specific issue. A monad is formed for a learning experience, but it is not necessarily a karmic one.  This relationship often feels as if two souls are on a see-saw—the most common being “teacher-student”.  Another soul relationship is one called a task companion.  Usually everyone has at least one task companion; it’s about performing one or many tasks together.  This relationship is very compatible without a lot of arguing or bickering or dealing with intense (karmic) issues. Still another is called essence twins or twin flames.  A twin flame has purpose behind it, driving toward a goal. Real-world examples: Ronald Regan had a soul mate called Nancy. But the discovers of the DNA structure, Watson and Crick, were twin flames, so were Mikhail Gorbachev and his wife Raisa. Often times it is a dicey and challenging relationship, but with great purpose.  Another is major Karma. Karma is an emotionally intense experience which causes a sense of imbalance in the parties. The law of karma is unfinished business—and when you have an emotionally intense experience with someone, you will eventually experience that emotionally intense experience from the perspective of the other participant.  And lastly, that which the media and popular belief have made so famous is the soul mate.  A soul mate is a partner for life. It does not have to be a romantic one. What they don’t say or know, is that your soul mate may be your grandmother, son, daughter or the neighbor next door.

The other thing the books don’t talk about is the fact, that LOVE is a quantum energy.  (So are magnets and gravity.)  And, although we accept these things, we can’t really explain them.  Relationships seems to be like that too. Like the seasons, all relationships change over time—as we grow and change every day.  We don’t all grow at the same pace, nor do relationships.  Within each relationship, we have the potential for compatibility, sympathy and understanding—we also have degrees of tension, antipathy or lack of communication.  All relationships, especially romantic ones bring expansion or growth. Maybe some of the “rules” and “judgments” for ourselves and others must change as well? And while the books are great tools, the real truth, probably is not found on the pages the books, but in the heart—every man and woman’s communion with an external source of hidden knowledge within—which each individual must seek and find for him or herself.

 

“Inspired Wellness from Within”

Cathrine Silver, HC, AADP

Author of Riding the Light Beam; How Every Woman Can Find the Hero Inside”

Cathrine Silver, HC, AADP, is a Certified Holistic Health Coach in private practice in Lauderdale by the Sea, Florida. She works collaboratively with clients on their desires regarding relationships, spirituality, career, physical activity, nutrition and loss. Suffering through her own loss in 2005, Cathrine motivates and empowers others to be the heroes in their own lives, becoming fully responsible for their own happiness, joy and well-being.

Cathrine holds a degree in Speech Communication from the University of Washington, is a graduate of the Institute for Integrative Nutrition and holds certifications in Reiki, Matrix Energetics, Hypnosis, Biological Decoding and Grief Counseling.

Cathrine has two grown sons and a two-year old grandson.

Coming Soon: 

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Grief Recovery with a Heart

Inspired, Caring, Supporting

www.soultosoulretreat.com

Free, Fabulous and Loving Me! Happy Valentines Day.

Self Love 3Last week as I was dashing to meet a friend for dinner.  I realized how free I was at this time in my life.  I had no children to worry about—no spouse to consult and no curfew.

I believe that just as a relationship gives us growth and expansion, so does not having one. No relationship allows for our growth and expansion in a different way. It is an appreciation of ourselves. I am not talking about about conceit, self-importance or narcissism. It is the discovery of our inner core and strengths; who we are:  Our talents. Our Likes and dislikes. The joy of being alive. Our beauty.  A period of getting to know and love our authentic self! To know that we are enough—and to love ourselves is something worth celebrating—not just one day, but 365 others as well.

For me, the journey has been one of unlearning.  I was a wife and Mother for many years. (still a Mother—but my adults kids live in different parts of the country and are not underfoot.) One of the first things I used to think about—besides getting everyone to school on time, was, what shall I fix for dinner?  I don’t do that anymore.  Funny, I always used to joke about wanting a “wife.”  You know someone to do all those errands, deliveries and chores—right?  Does anyone relate?  Now, it is for me.

Someone might call that self centered.  Years ago, I would have recoiled from that label.  It was always about someone else, placing myself second, third, or fourth in the line of family demands.  Most women flinch from the thought of personal descriptions that include the word self.  As Sarah Breathnach so eloquently wrote, “this self-defeating modesty eliminates a lot of flattering adjectives: self-poised, self-assured, self-confident.  So why do we shrink from self-admiration?”

Perhaps, at some pivotal moment growing up, our Mother or other authority figure humiliated us and viewed our healthy wants as shameful and selfish; we were made to feel wrong.  So, isn’t it about time, we begin to set our boundaries and put ourselves first?  I am not suggesting we neglect our children or spouse, if you have those relationships currently in your life, but I am suggesting we begin to reframe our wants, desires and needs, and begin to radiate the vibrant glow of an intelligent, loving, self-possessed woman, shinning our light out unto the world!

I trust and know that when the timing is right, I will again be with a true life-partner.  One that supports my desires and honors me for me.  Until that time I am enjoying my freedom and all that comes from living my truth, honoring my authentic, artistic, creative, caring and compassionate self.

“What a desire!  . . . To live in peace with that word: Myself!” (Sylvia Ashton-Warner)

Happy Valentines Day to the best parts of you!

 

Move Through Procrastination in 2016

Dictionary:  Procrastination⎜prə, krastə ‘ nāSHən,  prō-⎜noun 

The action of delaying or postponing something: your first tip is to avoid procrastination.

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As we come screeching to the closing moments and ending to our 2015 calendar year, the starting gun is fired and the new race begins as we mark our first steps for the next year—and the events, challenges and sometimes chaotic changes that somehow befall us by chance or fate. You decide.  At some level we are co-creating these experiences.  When we choose to participate at an even greater level of awareness we step into our lives with the power and trust that we effect our destiny and our future. We are Beings of Potential in waiting. We know that with pure intention we can change the bell curve—and can alter our life from average—to—extraordinary.  So, what stops us from creating our extraordinary future with awareness?

I would argue that all Beings in human form experience fear.  However—leaders and successful people—choose to walk through those fears (whatever they may be) anyway making it look “easy.”  But what about the rest of us?  Intelligent, focused, and self-directed, we all procrastinate usually at one time or another. True?

Last week, in a lengthy conversation with a friend, we chatted about procrastination.  He said, we all do it.  Even people who are well motivated and so-called ‘self-starters.’  We all have times that we are productive—and then less so.  Why?  Why do we all seem to procrastinate?  It may be a project we have desired for years.  It may be moving ahead in a new relationship or  ending one that does not serve us any longer.  It may be something that we have always wanted to do: write a book—or start a blog?  Publish a poem. Painting our feelings. Buy our first car.  Take a cooking class. Start an exercise routine.  Learn to dance. Or, simply  honor our authentic “us” to be the best version of ourselves we can possibly be without fear of judgment when we choose to  follow our passion from someone in our close circle.  Our family? Or friends?

I began to think about our words on the phone long after the conversation was over.   I remember in school; I was one of those last minute dead-line students most of the time.  Not because I wanted it to drag that unfinished assignment out forever . . .  why?

And, then I answered my own question.  It was fear.  Fear of judgment.  Fear of not getting a good grade.  Fear of not being “good enough.”  Fear of disappointing my parents.  There were so many unsaid and made up things in my mind.  Is this what the pervading persistence of our procrastinational phears (fears) produce?  In the end, it was the fear of not completing the task which over came the fear of the final outcome.  One fear was just bigger than the other and the assignment was turned in. That was then—and this is now.  It is not the class assignment, but our life and our future.  What do we want to create?  The slate is blank; anything we can imagine can be  ours. Our vision is there alive within and without—do we nourish the dream?

So as the starting blocks are set and the white chalk lines mark the track lanes, I ask can we walk through our fears with trust and confidence that we are enough?  That perhaps ‘the fear’ was placed there, as a test to ourselves? Is it there for us to challenge the very thing that scares us the most with ironically love of the Universe as our greatest and biggest ally and support however hidden it may appear?  I must confess, when your in the middle of the storm, it never seems that way. 

  It looks different for us all.  But, I challenge you to meet your biggest fear head on.  Step into “the new you.”  Be proud of who you are.  Meet the challenge with love knowing that you are supported on every level.  Gather your tribe that loves you no matter what unconditionally.  Could it be a soul family—rather than biological one?  Is that a healthy change for you? A sister from another mother who happens to be your biggest cheer leader?  Or that new friend form work that “gets you.” If you don’t have that—make that declaration now.   As the race into 2016 begins—know that there is really no race and no destination.  It is the journey we call life. Always changing, always challenging and always carrying us to the next level.  It is as fulfilling and amazing as we choose to make it. Pick up your kaleidoscope and twist the end of the rotating tube and create a new reflection for yourself.  What is your heart’s desire?  It will not look the same for you as for your sister, brother, parents or best friends.  Have the courage to just “be you.”  

Set your intention. Write your vision and goals on a sheet of paper. Put it in an envelope and put it away in a drawer. Be aware that things may not show up how you “had planned.” Watch for the synchronicity.  Trust and have faith.  Take steps to move toward your new goals and visions. And then have the courage to make the leap when the opportunity arrives at your door.  Lastly, I include a favorite mantra.  Print it out—put it on your mirror and say it at least once a day.  This is co-creating at its best!  

I wish you all a joyous—peace-filled and co-creative 2016 as you step into your true magnificence and leave the old fearful ways of procrastination behind in 2015.

“Inspired Wellness from Within”

Cathy Silver, HC, AADP

www.cathrinesilver.com

 

 

Look into the mirror.  Look in your eyes, and say the words:

“I AM that I AM.  I deserve to be here, loved by God.  I am magnificent.”

Seven Sisters Pleiades Constellation

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