Fear—or Superpower?

What if we had the freedom to live fully without the energy of fear? I get that we all carry fear from time to time. We are human, after all. But some of us are trained and conditioned and controlled daily. Fear cripples. Our attitudes and happiness can be ruined in minutes, often just from watching the news!  I have watched more TV than I normally do in the last few weeks visiting a friend—that is his place of relaxation—and disconnection. What I object to most is the constant barrage of advertisements, all selling fear. Constipation, prescriptions/coverage, car repair insurance, phone deals, religious saviors, masks and deadlines weeks away—call now! Not to mention all the stuff QVC peddles. How can our life be complete?  

Perhaps, it would not bother me so much, but I had a mother who lived in fear and worry. The go-to answer was NO. I got so tired of hearing no; I could have screamed.  Maybe that’s why everything from the news broadcasting 24/7 telling of the horrors, pounding COVID numbers of NEW CASES—(Not how many have recovered—like the regular flu—did we ever have those numbers? I guess not, never mind!) It seems that by “holding” us in a state of fear—others control our actions, including our own government. Fear influences our spending, (remember the toilet paper shortage?) our habits, our life in every way, and the decisions we make now and about our future.  Hell, they might as well be holding a loaded revolver to our heads. I understand there are some who continue to wear their masks indoors and live alone! What??? Notice—no proven anti-viral preventive supplements like Vitamin C or D or zinc . . . on the news. That would be empowering!

So, I want to declare war on fear. I say, it is our enemy. Fear decreases our immunity. It takes away our happiness. It strips us of our freedom and forces to look for an external answer of “trust” and reliance outside ourselves. It separates us from each other. It creates a place of anxiety—and imagining the worst increases fear . . . The Church seems to hold authority and “ownership” for our souls; the government uses laws and regulations to control our behavior and financial worth and the hospital runs a sick-care system. Responsibility for our health is owned by big Pharma and a group of corporate advertisers who tell us about everything we need to be happy, healthy and wealthy by showing us what happens if we don’t do as they say by planting those seeds of doubt, uneasiness and dis-ease.

 When do we get to toss aside this ecclesiastical, governmental, pharmaceutical reliance, or the “corporate brainwashing techniques” no matter what or who is doing it and rely upon our own innate wisdom? We all have it. We were born with it. And, when we empower ourselves—we find the confidence to use it and guide us daily. Common sense and intuition should be our guideposts, not some commercial, for example, on TV that repeats over and over telling us how we should feel until our subconscious believes it is so! 

When we empower ourselves, we feel less frightened and more in control. Right or wrong the decisions are our own. Responsibility for ourselves feels good when we get to choose what is right for us.

Perhaps, these past eight months have caused us unconsciously to begin to draw that line in the sand? Can we be scared into more social distancing and fear or has the consciousness begun to shift? HAVE WE HAD ENOUGH? Perhaps, it is time to push through any remaining remnants of fear—like superman opening his cape to reveal and recognize who he is and his unseen and unstoppable power? Can we be that too? I am not talking about leaping tall buildings or stopping bullets or speeding locomotives. I am talking about knowing that we are protected. We all have divine guides and angelic helpers. They are there to help us when we ask—everyone no matter what your belief. God inside does not discriminate or play favorites, and there is no “set way”. We are eternal and forever; death is merely a transition of energy and a freshening of expression and we will reunite with our loved ones. (Maybe they are being recalibrated for what’s next on the earth plane? And we will be too!)

As Pamela Eakins writes so brilliantly, “What we think, we conceptualize, what we dream could be, has enormous potential to become real if we accept and assume responsibility for our freedom. We increase our spiritual energy through affirming our will to create. We increase our emotional energy through affirming our openness to Love. We increase our mental energy through accepting no limitations, persevering, and allowing our imagination to take flight.”

What would it feel like next time you were scared to ask for help—with your very personal invisible cosmic help? To know that you are enough. To push through that which scares you most? To even use that fear to say, “Enough!” BS. Nonsense. Crap. Maybe now is the time to see clearly and expand the soul of our being? As ideas take shape, the butterfly of our soul is set free. Try it next time you are fearful. Can you see the illusion and walk through it anyway? . . . And see how you feel! The very successful American Idol star, Adam Lambert, released a new song called Superpower. And says,“The idea of taking control and talking back your power. I think on a personal level I’ve been heading that way professionally, too. It really embodies this whole thing that I’m talking about in taking the reins.” Wave good-bye to your fear. If he can find his superpower—we can too! 

About Cathrine Silver

Cathrine Silver, HC, AADP, is a Certified Holistic Health Coach in private practice in Lauderdale by the Sea, Florida. She works collaboratively with clients on their desires regarding disease, relationships, spirituality, and loss. Suffering through her own loss in 2005, Cathrine motivates and empowers others to be the heroes in their own lives, becoming fully responsible for their own happiness, joy and well-being.

Cathrine holds a degree in Speech Communication from the University of Washington, is a graduate of the Institute for Integrative Nutrition and holds certifications in Reiki, Matrix Energetics, Hypnosis, Biological Decoding and Grief Counseling. She is the author of the book, Riding the Light Beam: How Any Woman Can Find the Hero Inside.

www.Cathrinesilver.com (Website)

www.cathysilver.me (Blog)

cathysilverhealth@gmail.com (email)

Cathy Silver Holistic Healing (Facebook)

A piece of Cake

Sometimes things are just plain unexplainable, period. We call it synchronicity and coincidence, but speaking now, for myself, amazes me whenever these “chance” alignments occur. I’ve heard it referred to ‘physics with an attitude’. (And, infinite LOVE is at the center of physics.) Examples in real life though, help us to believe that the Universe conspires to bring like-minded things together in a vibrational sequence. It’s about living in the moment, being open to possibilities and certainly going with the flow.

Some things just seem to be beyond our control. Or perhaps, everything is?  Are we riding in the passenger seat, while larger invisible life forces known as our higher self and soul drive things around us based on our very personal intent? We are after all co-creators, right? Or sometimes, we deliver the messages of what others’ need to hear—or are in need of? Do we serve as divine message carrier?  More and more, I am beginning to feel this is Truth with a capital T.

I was out on the Olympic Peninsula for just about the entire month of July. I had volunteered to make dinner for friends, and the decision as to the menu was entirely up to me. After a number of considerations—I decided homemade pizza—sans homemade crust; store bought refrigerated crust would have to do this round. Scrolling mentally through my mental list of ingredients, I quickly realized, my pizza stones were at home in Florida. I was spending more and more time on the Peninsula, so, why not invest in the proper equipment and leave it here? Easy thought and idea, huh?  As you know, many things do not go as planned, and this was no exception!

With instant delivery, overnight service and that giant known as Amazon, I assumed this purchase would be a piece of cake.  My Friend Brad didn’t have a mailbox at his Sequim home, but I thought for sure, Amazon would have lockers nearby. After all, Ft. Lauderdale certainly did, and I snubbed them every time I walked into the local Whole Foods.

To make a long story short, Amazon and Walmart did not have what I wanted—or should I say—couldn’t get it to me with the speed I had become accustom to. It was Wednesday and dinner was Friday. Plan B: There had to be one.  

Now Sequim is the gateway to the Olympic rain forest, the Pacific Ocean and the playground for hikers and RV’s. But, it’s often a challenge to manifest things in an instant or so I thought!  Therefore, an idea occurred. I’ll call this Plan B. I would drive the 40 minutes to the touristy town of Port Townsend. I had visited there a few years ago, and It seemed to me there was a small kitchen store. They certainly would have the large pizza stone I was in search of. And, so the adventure unfolded. 

On the way into town, I stopped at the Goodwill. You know, one man’s unwanted clutter is another man’s treasure. No pizza stone, but a bargain for a William-Sonoma muffin tin. 🙂 Onward ho . . . I had spoken to Brad’s neighbor on Whidbey Island to see if she was available to meet in PT for lunch. “Oh, Cathy,” she said, I am elbows deep in cookie dough, going to be at my daughter’s house tomorrow.” “Next time, raincheck,” and I hung up the phone.  During our brief phone conversation, Joan had suggested the Mercantile Quimper, just beyond the ferry loading dock. The store was cute, and had a lot of stuff—in fact small 12” pizza stones, but that wasn’t what I had in mind. I continued my quest . . . the cooking store, the Green Eyeshade, back to What’s Cookin’, Don’s pharmacy (which still had a working soda fountain), Henries Hardware, and back up the hill out of town. I had passed Habit for Humanity’s store on the way in and decided to give it a go. Who knew what I might find in peoples’ discarded household articles and unwanted items? I parked, and spoke to an employee loading chairs into an elderly woman’s Toyota as I walked to the entrance. “Pizza stone, yea, we get them from time to time, but they’re not a high demand item.” I nodded my head in agreement, I guessed he was right. And, this was where things got interesting . . . 

I followed his instructions and soon found myself in their “kitchen” department. Quickly, another female employee greeted me, and asked me what I was looking for. I explained my quest—and she shook her head. “The woman who runs this department is off today, but I haven’t seen one lately.” Shortly, a conversation ensued as I was obviously talking to another cook like myself and we were discussing the finer points of homemade pizza and alternatives to my pizza stone dilemma. Minutes later, a slender 40ish looking man in a blue t-shirt and jeans appeared from around the corner. “Excuse me”, he said politely, “I am sorry, but I overheard your conversation, and I have a pizza stone if you’d like it.” Wow, that would be fantastic I thought and the woman and I glanced quickly at each other. “No charge—I will give it to you.” He continued, “my wife doesn’t like it, and she told me to get rid of it. You can have it.” I shook my head and smiled, “sure, that would be great. Thank you.” 

He, Matt—now I knew his name, had another stop in town before heading back to his house. We traded numbers, and he said he would text me when he arrived back at his house. In the meantime, I decided a quick bite to eat would kill the hour or so wait, and based on the suggestions from the women at the counter, I headed down the road to find The Cup for a bowl of chowder.  “Wow. That was divine intervention” said another older employee who stood behind the counter as I headed out the door. Yes, it was! 

It was a cute little restaurant in what looked like an old remolded house—painted latte-brown with a few scattered red umbrella’s and some outdoor furniture—for those celebrated warm days in the Northwest. I was seated and ordered my chowder, grabbed a piece of the local paper to read and I waited for my food. As I paid my tab, I wanted to leave the waitress a larger tip and dug into my wallet to pull out a Susan B. Anthony coin that had been riding in my wallet for months. I looked up, most of the lunch crowd had disappeared, and I caught her eye. “I’m leaving this dollar and I wanted to let you know, it wasn’t a quarter—with the other singles on the change tray,” I said smiling. “I collect those for my grandson, thank you”, she said. We chatted for a minute about her grandkids, and then I got up and headed the towards to the door. 

Now, I happen to be wearing my purple WASHINGTON husky wind breaker that my father had sent me several years ago—and a man working behind the counter looked at me, and asked me, “Did you play ball for Washington?” “Yes, actually I did—about a 100 years ago”—and smiled back, and stoping to talk for a moment. I can’t remember the exact sequence of our chat, but I had to be me—and shortly into our “light” conversation, I stopped and said, “You know, you were born magnificent.” He was wearing a baseball cap and pulled it over his eyes and bent his head downward, placing his hands on the high counter in front of me that separated us. I continued, “Maybe that’s the real reason I came in today?” “You know we all carry divinity inside—but sometimes we just need to be reminded.” We are all part of the One.” With that, I detected, for whatever reason—and whatever his story caused a welling-up deep emotional reaction.  I reached over to the counter, where he had laid his hands, and put mine on top of his, giving his fingers a squeeze. He gave my little finger a squeeze back.  He had had all he could take and I silently walked out the door. 

Whatever your Truth, sometimes we all need to be reminded of our divine magnificence. I left the restaurant, and followed my GPS to Matt’s house, where I happily accepted his gift, and my new pizza stone. I left Port Townsend with a smile. There were so many things to be grateful for—and the Universe had conspired in a most unique and exciting way to make everything happen perfectly. I just followed the cosmic crumbs! It had been a day of soft sweetness—and the Universe had delivered me a delicious piece of cosmic cake.

 

Neutrality and the Observing Participant

Sometimes, things just literally fall out in front of us—always at the right time—and with purpose; something we need. Last night, I pulled a book off my shelf and quite literally, a typewritten paper fell into my lap. I found its message “timeless.” And, so very apropos. I was at the end of my divorce. It was a most upsetting change my life was taking—but one I knew at a deep level was necessary for my growth and expansion as the soul I was. I don’t think I could have verbalized it in those terms, but my soon to be ex-husband and I were complete; our journey together was over. 

We are all faced with many changes currently. As I reflect on all the changes and chaos happening on every level of our personal lives and those of our nation, and the world, it seems like great advice to all: can we be the neutral observer?  We are all being called to seek something better, (our Truth) higher (vibrationally) and grander, aligning with our divine nature. In turn, these changes in our lives will bring us deeper understanding, greater wisdom, more love for each other and compassion action for ourselves and humanity—the mission of our evolutionary path.  I stand in vulnerability and transparency. And, perhaps, a way-shower and a better future. I share the channeling by Sally Baldwin from March of 2006 as a way to empower you! 

“It is most astute Cathy that you realize and know deep within yourself that this experience is nothing more than an energetic one. Yes, you walk through certain scenarios that you must in the physical world, but you need not give it undue attention. Deal with it, as you must, as you are. But, do not go overboard in the sense of weight that you allow it to take. It is not an important point here, as much as you see it as something so pivotal to you and your life. This really is a moment that is allowing you to go to a place of unbelievable connection and faith. And so in that being, it must be one of the most  considerable events of your life from the aspect of energy—not from what you deal with in the physical. So remind yourself of this. The two are not often so connected as many in human form think they are. So it is not as if the issue itself—being such a gargantuan one to you physically—then generates an equal amount of more of energy. It doesn’t work that way. At times—yes—a physical consideration and situation will generate an opportunity for an energy to flow, expand, and be magnificent.  This however is nothing more than you walking through a material plane issue to land on the other side of it where you can be more free, more open and more available to transmit the energy as you have come to do.

So see it as the necessary tunnel that you walk through in order to get to the light. That is the best way for you to proceed now. Not giving any undue attention or weight to whatever any circumstance in this event is about—but rather saying, ‘I will hold my breath. I will somehow get through the tunnel without smelling toxic fumes or looking at myself as somehow hit by the train. I will just walk through the tunnel knowing it’s the necessary journey to get to the other side.’ That kind of idea will help you more than you have any idea and will not give you a sense that you are somehow needing to weigh out every part of this situation. You just give it what you must in the physical—show up there as you are, and give yourself over to stay in as neutral and astute a place as you possibly can when it comes to the issues that are raised, and do not allow your emotions to become overwhelmed or extreme.

That’s the greatest gift you can give to yourself and to all in this situation—is to stay as neutral as you can. Your ability to do this is far more excessive than you give credit to. So, realize this is your mantra. Neutrality is where you stand in the physical now with this event, and then through that neutrality, you will find yourself rising to the occasion of energy on an unbelievable level. One that will then say to you, ‘How is it that I became so consumed by what it is this issue is? How is it that I got so caught up for all those years in what it is I though I was into? And then you’ll let it go. You’ll let it go. You’ll let it drift off like a piece of confetti from a New York skyscraper at Thanksgiving. It will simply float and flutter away and you yourself will be gaining in the process because you will be attending to an energy of a much more loving nature, and one that is much more suited to you.”

 

About Cathrine Silver

Cathrine Silver, HC, AADP, is a Certified Holistic Health Coach in private practice in Lauderdale by the Sea, Florida. She works collaboratively with clients on their desires regarding disease, relationships, spirituality, and loss. Suffering through her own loss in 2005, Cathrine motivates and empowers others to be the heroes in their own lives, becoming fully responsible for their own happiness, joy and well-being.

Cathrine holds a degree in Speech Communication from the University of Washington, is a graduate of the Institute for Integrative Nutrition and holds certifications in Reiki, Matrix Energetics, Hypnosis, Biological Decoding and Grief Counseling. She is the author of the book, Riding the Light Beam: How Any Woman Can Find the Hero

www.Cathrinesilver.com (Website)

www.cathysilver.me (Blog)

cathysilverhealth@gmail.com (email)

Cathy Silver Holistic Healing (Facebook)

Apple – Vision for Our Future?

Most of us who have ever walked through the mall, know what the Apple store looks like, even if you have never owned a Mac or iPhone—or any Apple product. You have, however, probably noticed the busy hum from behind the glass windows as you walk by this praesepe. It is always like a big giant cocktail party without the cocktails! I preface this, because on Monday, I spent hours inside the store. First, making the appointment—then returning for my designated appointment time—and then making a third trip back to the store after a backup. (They gave me the option of backing up my computer before they unloaded my data and reloaded it back onto my computer.) Anyway, as I sat there going through the whole process waiting as the expert worked to diagnose my computer’s issue and then worked on a solution to fix it—I gazed out from my designated stool where I sat at the Genius Bar and took notice of the meld and diversity of clients, waiting, looking, shopping and learning. This was America. And our strength showed in the extreme diversity. Even more impressive, its cohesiveness.

With all the fighting and vitriol spit out by our current political administration—it was so nice to see what I believed along; we all have the ability to get along. The genius who helped me had many long colored braids. She was a multi-cultural mix very different than my own northern European lineage. She was Cuban and Puerto Rican and Polish and Russian and had this exotic beauty that radiated from her being. Sitting next to her, also being helped, was a gentleman from the Dominican Republic—and another from South America. We all shared many of the same concerns; we all wanted to live peacefully and in harmony with each other. Our conversation of agreement, not discord.

This picture and vision in my mind today made it very clear that we, as a great nation were founded on diversity; it is our strength. It’s funny how sometimes technology can bring us together in unsuspecting ways. I’m sure this was not exactly Steve Job’s vision, but one that was born out of his legacy, many years after his passing. I would say, the founding fathers may have had this vision too. Needless to say, if our current powers that be, could step down outside their ivory towers, they too might observe something their blinders have prevented them from seeing. Fear separates and tears us apart—love brings us together. If you are in one place, you can not be in the other. As we continue to shift and grow in conscious evolution, we will be more able to appreciate one another when we stand in compassion—and come from that small place which resides in our hearts; after all we all belong to the same human family. This is humanities alchemy; the magical process of transformation. If we could only look out over the Cosmic Sea of Oneness and see our sameness—the world can shift much faster. Oh, maybe we can?  I saw that vision of Oneness in the Apple Store last Monday—and so can you! 

the-store-on-an-extremely-busy-iphone-6-launch

Relationships – More Than Meets the Eye

Life—is bigger than we know. And I know that the same is true with relationships—whether we’re connecting with our dog, our kids, our friends, the ocean or the trees and plants in our garden or the forest outside in nature.  Everything is much bigger than our intellect and ego safely insist and wants to catalog in a neat book or box or pre-set set of rules of how things are or how things can or should be.  Sometimes, they just aren’t.

While walking through the bookstore last weekend, I noticed the racks—and shelves of books and magazines on relationships.  How to start one. How to maintain one. How to fix what’s broken.  Questions that address intimacy, feeling supported, making a contribution in the relationship, flexibility, judgment, jealously, to name a few; this list is almost endless.  I pulled numerous books off the shelves and leafed through the indexes and tables of contents. None of them addressed true soul relationships, except one which noted, Soul mates were seductive and completely silly, the author certainly pooh-poohed the idea that relationships could be made in previous lives.  Really?

So, let me start with the belief or premise that we are eternal and forever and as souls, we come to earth again and again and again; it’s what we do!   In fact, I believe that 2, 3, or 4 lives may be ONE experience for our soul as seen as continuous experience, purpose and growth which we know as lifetimes. For our soul—a traveler between dimensional worlds— some things would just be carried forward. That would include relationships; our likes, dislikes, fears and phobias sure are.

Each time we are here, it is recorded in our Akashic record.  For those unfamiliar, the Akashic Record, is a “dimension of consciousness that contains a vibrational record of every soul and its journey”, writes author Linda Howe.  Every life is recorded and remembered while on Earth and in a modern-day lingo—downloaded here for safe keeping upon death and uploaded upon our return.  The souls that have been here the most and the longest are the old souls who carry the most wisdom.  You can equate this to years in school; the graduate student holds more wisdom than the one in kindergarten; lifetimes are the same sort of way.

But, back to my topic of relationships.  Yes, we have soul relationships with many—but not with all of the people in our lives.  Some people just resonate with you; you feel it, and know it—whether it makes any sense at all.  How many have talked to complete strangers, they just “know”?

In fact, there are many soul relationships and each carries its own distinct “flavor” or “energy”. There is one called cording. In this relationship, one is the “giver” of energy—the other is the “receiver”. Monad relationships are another, for which there are many different types, and are experienced in both directions around a specific issue. A monad is formed for a learning experience, but it is not necessarily a karmic one.  This relationship often feels as if two souls are on a see-saw—the most common being “teacher-student”.  Another soul relationship is one called a task companion.  Usually everyone has at least one task companion; it’s about performing one or many tasks together.  This relationship is very compatible without a lot of arguing or bickering or dealing with intense (karmic) issues. Still another is called essence twins or twin flames.  A twin flame has purpose behind it, driving toward a goal. Real-world examples: Ronald Regan had a soul mate called Nancy. But the discovers of the DNA structure, Watson and Crick, were twin flames, so were Mikhail Gorbachev and his wife Raisa. Often times it is a dicey and challenging relationship, but with great purpose.  Another is major Karma. Karma is an emotionally intense experience which causes a sense of imbalance in the parties. The law of karma is unfinished business—and when you have an emotionally intense experience with someone, you will eventually experience that emotionally intense experience from the perspective of the other participant.  And lastly, that which the media and popular belief have made so famous is the soul mate.  A soul mate is a partner for life. It does not have to be a romantic one. What they don’t say or know, is that your soul mate may be your grandmother, son, daughter or the neighbor next door.

The other thing the books don’t talk about is the fact, that LOVE is a quantum energy.  (So are magnets and gravity.)  And, although we accept these things, we can’t really explain them.  Relationships seems to be like that too. Like the seasons, all relationships change over time—as we grow and change every day.  We don’t all grow at the same pace, nor do relationships.  Within each relationship, we have the potential for compatibility, sympathy and understanding—we also have degrees of tension, antipathy or lack of communication.  All relationships, especially romantic ones bring expansion or growth. Maybe some of the “rules” and “judgments” for ourselves and others must change as well? And while the books are great tools, the real truth, probably is not found on the pages the books, but in the heart—every man and woman’s communion with an external source of hidden knowledge within—which each individual must seek and find for him or herself.

 

“Inspired Wellness from Within”

Cathrine Silver, HC, AADP

Author of Riding the Light Beam; How Every Woman Can Find the Hero Inside”

Cathrine Silver, HC, AADP, is a Certified Holistic Health Coach in private practice in Lauderdale by the Sea, Florida. She works collaboratively with clients on their desires regarding relationships, spirituality, career, physical activity, nutrition and loss. Suffering through her own loss in 2005, Cathrine motivates and empowers others to be the heroes in their own lives, becoming fully responsible for their own happiness, joy and well-being.

Cathrine holds a degree in Speech Communication from the University of Washington, is a graduate of the Institute for Integrative Nutrition and holds certifications in Reiki, Matrix Energetics, Hypnosis, Biological Decoding and Grief Counseling.

Cathrine has two grown sons and a two-year old grandson.

Coming Soon: 

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Grief Recovery with a Heart

Inspired, Caring, Supporting

www.soultosoulretreat.com

Milestones

img_2845It had already been a few weeks of significant change and major life events for me as a boarded another flight out of Ft. Lauderdale ten days ago. I was headed for Boston’s Logan International; my youngest son David, was getting married to a beautiful young woman named Hannah. They had fallen in love seven years prior while they were both in college.  Now they were marking the beginning of yet another cycle in their relationship; a vow to each other and commitment to their future together.

Weeks before, I had celebrated my Mother’s 85th birthday with my siblings and their families on the cool Pacific Ocean in the picturesque town of Cannon Beach, Oregon.  Thirteen days later my Mother would pass unexpectedly in her sleep; a surprise to all. She, on the soul level, was complete.  The end of another cycle; her transition was proof as shocking and surreal as it seemed to us, upon receiving the heartbreaking phone call.  We were all together again. This time at her memorial service appropriately held in the First Hill neighborhood at the historic Trinity Episcopal Parish in Seattle.  This was a place of memories; she had been married there—so had my brother.  She had held a similar service where we sat upon her own Mother’s passing—my grandmother and my namesake; I remember that, so many years ago.   History on many levels as I learned that her Father had helped to found the still beautiful old English Gothic Revival landmark; milestones. . . .

At my son’s wedding, I would be seeing my ex-husband and his new wife. He was a reminder of another milestone: my painful divorce in 2006. I would be saying hello to my aging ex-mother-in-law, seeing my happy, energetic red-headed two-year old grandson, my oldest son Joshua and his wife Jessica, and meeting Hannah’s parents and sisters for the first time.

I had vowed to myself to show up powerful, balanced, peaceful and loving.  I felt, I had fulfilled that promise—to myself:  for me that was another milestone and cycle that was complete.  I had been working towards that resolution for the last ten years.  It was the mastery inside that I strove for daily, and my compassion and evenness was proof that day.  These events, coming like hard packed snowballs, one after another, certainly acted as good barometers for not only myself—but can be markers, for all of us—on how far we’ve come, or how much work on ourselves we have left to do. No denial or illusion would mask any remaining sorrow, grief, anger or emotional hurt which remained.

Milestones— those major events in our lives are happening all the time to everyone.  They are defined as a “significant event or stage in the life, progress, development, or life of a person, or of a nation.”  We often think of birth, death, divorce, and marriage as the biggest and I believe they serve as our greatest teachers in life.

Each and every one of those events could have been a traumatic emotional sand trap; life’s hazards of sorts; “Watch Out!” However, in the center of any storm, you can stand as the unmoved mover and reside at the place of stillness within.  What comes to mind as I write this blog, is the merry-go-rounds they had in parks when I grew up.  You could more easily stand the ride if you could get to the middle of the quickly moving circular metal platform—a brightly painted spinning disc with welded grab bars called fun!   On the outer edges the ride was definitely more dizzying and much harder to hang on.  Isn’t life like that too?  How easy or difficult is it to get to the center of ourselves—our eternal core of strength when there is so much change happening so quickly? This can be dizzying too. The core of internal strength, please remember, is that which we carry inside ourselves.  It is in everyone. It is that piece of the divine that so many dismiss as separate, and external from our very being.  But, acknowledging this I AM strength is a gift we can access at any time; it’s there for the asking.

And then I wonder and ask, do we need to be more like the leaf on the river, always being guided around the rocks and undercurrents? When we are able to trust this always spinning revolution and know that our lives are co-created by our complete and whole beingness including that God-part within; we are like the leaf.   Or are we barely hanging on for dear life, dizzy, shaken, and too weak and unable to stand upright?

I have come to believe the Wheel of Fortune—represents the wheel of life.  It is a powerful metaphor for our lives; our milestones.  It continually moves—up and down.  It is our job to stand in the center.  At the highest level, writes Pamela Eakins, the wheel is seen as “the wheel of consciousness and a wheel of evolving destiny.”  She continues, “The Wheel of Fortune is seen as a path that brings individuality into alignment with the movement of the Cosmos.”

When necessary these past weeks, I felt strong.  I felt compassion.  I have allowed myself to be vulnerable.  I have been loving. I am at peace.  I felt like I have stood at the center of the wheel. I feel like I am in alignment with the Universe.  I have pulled on this strength within and I invite you to do the same.

“As the world turns,

so do I.

When I change for the good,

I can touch the sky.”

Wings of Change

Inspired Wellness Within

Cathrine Silver, HC, AADP

http://www.cathrinesilver.com

KIDS: Natural and Logical Consequences

When Joshua, my oldest was five, I enrolled him in El Paso Country Day School.  We were stationed at Ft. Bliss military base and living up near the hospital in field grade military quarters; there were big problems with the small local elementary school just outside the military gates. I wanted his first experience and exposure to school be as positive as possible; after all wouldn’t this in someway determine his future?  My husband was doing his internship and residency and spend inhuman hours at the hospital; I have the pictures to prove it—even today.

One day exasperated, I confess in a conversation with Susan Jordan, PhD, assistant to the founder of the school, that I would never get Joshua to school on time without the morning drama that eventually ended up with me upset.  Was yelling really necessary to get him to move in the morning so we could get to school on time? I guess I was seeking answers; needing help.

Her response was utterly astounding to me.  She simply advised, “let him get dressed at school if he is not ready when it is time to leave the house.” I was speechless.  “I can’t do that”, I instinctually responded and added,  “He will come to school in his pajamas!”

 

Sweetly, she smiled and answered my protest,  “Let him know what time you are leaving,” I listened intently.  She continued with the precise but simple instructions.  “Tell him when you are leaving, and if he is not ready, he can get dressed at school. Tell him that you will put his clothes in a bag and that he can get dressed in my office.  Then upon arriving, bring him into my office and set his bag of clothes on my desk.  He can get dressed in here.  And, I will see you in the afternoon, with his sleepware in the bag; you can pick it up off my desk.”

She then explained this parenting technique called Natural and Logical consequences.  It puts the responsibility on the child. The child always has a choice.  If Joshua chose to get dressed, for example, at home, then the experience he has is different than choosing to play with toys and not be ready. Then by his inaction he must get dressed at school. His other option is to get dressed at home before leaving. Each choice the child makes brings a new experience from his or her decision. Each a valuable learning experience based on his/her choice.  But the responsibility is put on their shoulders; not yours.

I processed this new concept, asking myself, was I brave enough to try this novel approach?  At least to me it was different than anything I had known at the time.  Something I was totally unfamiliar with, however, it certainly sounded like sage advice and something that would support a new healthier routine each morning getting out of the house.

Morning came. Joshua was still playing when it was time to head for school.  I had followed her instructions. I loaded Joshua and David into the car.  His school clothes neatly in a brown grocery bag, and ready for him to put on upon his arrival at school.  However, when we pulled up—Joshua was a bit alarmed.  I don’t believe he expected me to carry through with what I had explained to him earlier.  I led him to the office with both his clothes nestled in the bag and his younger brother in tow—riding on my hip.  Susan was there waiting and like the precision of a swiss watch,  I gently handed her the bag and my son’s hand.  No words were exchanged.  Only a passing smile and an exchange of eye contact; the rest was in her hands. I had done my part for now.

The following morning, I again followed the new routine that Susan had schooled me in.  This time however, Joshua was half way dressed when we arrived; scrambling to dress in the car.  He finished dressing in Susan’s office that morning too.  The big shift came on day 3.  This time he was dressed and ready for school.  I never again had to say a word.  He was always ready; the drama gone.  As a matter of fact, when his brother David was around 5 or 6, there was a distraction one morning—probably a video game—I honestly do not remember, but David was not ready for school.  It was Joshua, who I overheard, telling his brother to get ready for school “DAVE, YOU DON’T WANT ‘THE BAG’ ! ”   I smiled and we headed out the door for school. It was a lesson for my kids, but a bigger lesson was for me.  And that made me smile.

“The only Journey is the one within.”

–Rainer Maria Rilke

“Inspired Wellness from Within”

Cathrine Silver, HC, AADP

Dear Dad . . . Open Letter for Father’s Day

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Dad’s 80th Birthday–with siblings:  L to R, Chris, Caryl, Cathrine, Charles Jr

Dear Dad,

I won’t be calling or sending you a card this year, but you already know that, don’t you?  It has been almost a year since your transition—or what I affectionally call ‘your graduation day’ (from earth school).  Your expansion and lessons for this incarnation complete. I cannot be sad; that would be selfish.  I saw your frustrations—exasperations—and vexations prior to your exit. Life did not hold the same pleasures or satisfaction; no words were necessary to explain, I knew. Unexplainable to most, I know you have not left me or anyone dear to you for that matter.   I know you are with me always—everyday—and every moment; divinity hidden behind the veil of mystery. Separation only an illusion.

We all react differently to death. I must say that I know you are around me more now than when you were here physically as my Father.  I know you helped me bury my cat Sasha last October.  In my minds-eye, I heard you tell me “go get your gloves and shovel.” We did that together. To confess, it’s not because I ever felt disconnected  but, because I know a piece of you has stayed with me and I know you understand more of what I’m about; who I am and what I believe.  I know I confused you at times; but that is ok too.  You get me now.  Your understanding has clarity. You exist in a quantum expression entangled with all here on Earth.

We said our good-bye’s in May.  I am grateful.  I never thought about what an example you were to me; I only hoped that I can impart these qualities to my own two sons. I share that now.  Perhaps, that is why we chose these soul relationships this time around?  You my father; I your eldest daughter.

I am grateful you showed me compassion by your way of being; your gentleness, caring, concern and kindness towards others. I say it kept me sane.  This way of being shown through with your customers at Equine House and the way you treated our animals; the horses, adopted dogs and barn cats.

You taught me about unconditional love.  When I married my now ex-husband, you may not have understood, but you assured me that as long as I was happy—you were happy too.  Not all parents can do that.  You stepped up when it counted.

As a young child and young adult, you always respected us—all of us.  You listened and tried your best to solve the crisis at hand;  I appreciated that you listened.  Sometimes, we just need to be heard; I needed to be heard and you were there.

You taught me patience and anticipation.  These were lessons while horseback riding, but they apply to life too.  I believe now they are a metaphor for how we live.  They were not fearful warnings, but common sense practical guidance. It works as well today, as it did decades ago. I know life is a wheel—constantly moving up and down.  Cycles within cycles; patience is key—so is trust. You taught me that too.

You taught me about the simplicity of the the small pleasures perhaps the real secret to life; that satisfaction from within.  The value of spending time with your children.  The side trips along small winding country roads back to the barns from the feed store or the hardware store. You held the space for the family vacations; that once a year camping excursion to The Big Woods camp ground, the Calgary Stampede, Grand Tetons or Yellowstone Park.  Thank you.  I too shared adventures with my sons while they were young.  I know they will one day look back fondly—just as I look back fondly now.  It could have been yesterday.

Most recently, I discovered you always loved to finish your dinner with a dessert. I never realized that growing up; maybe everything was lost in the hustle of school and hurried family dinners.  It was only when I visited those few weeks each year, I discovered this nugget.  I understand Grandfather was like that too—the apple never falls far from the tree.  (smiling) There was a child-like pleasure when Linda ( your wife) and I announced we had a sweet-treat to complete the meal baking in the oven.  A twinkle in your eyes, and smile as a child like innocence couldn’t contain the excitement over the confection presented; an image indelibly seared forever in my mind.  I recall the bakery that we used to visit every trip to Washington in La Conner; that delicious apple dumpling—more like a single serving apple pie!  How cool is that Dad? I found a recipe on line. I know you’ll enjoy it with me—when I make it at home!

And so, on this Father Day—I know you view the world differently these days from your new vantage point; I don’t know how that looks.  You know what I am thinking. You know more about me than I know about myself.  You know many of the secrets of the Universe that I would love to know—and that’s ok. I’ll wait.  But, one thing I do know, is love is something that rends the veil.  It is a multidimensional attribute.  And so, from my soul to yours, I wish you Happy Father’s Day—and Thank you for being you!  Recorded in the history of earth and humanity—that will never change and always be part of who we are—and who we have been and for that I can celebrate this day and all Fathers’ Days to come!

Love Always,

Cathrine

Oh, and no, I won’t forget the Vanilla Ice Cream—I know it wouldn’t be complete without the frozen sweet topping melting over the hot apple dessert!  LOL  Yum. 🙂

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Apple Dumpling ala mode, La Conner Bakery, La Conner, Washington.

The Four Corners; Lemons or Lemonade 

My kids cringed as I pulled the Land Cruiser over to the side of the shoulder, hopping out on the long deserted windy highway and picked a handful of stray wheat stalks, that were happily growing outside the farmer’s expansive cultivated land protected by the lonely never-ending barbed wire fence. Earlier, they shook their heads while I was still navigating my way out of Texas as I made a U-Turn to get a extraordinary picture of a beautiful row of tall sunflowers—asking Joshua and David to smile as I took their picture in front of the oh-so-tall-giant beauties.

IMG_0965Ah, the memories. I look back now and marvel at the fun-filled expeditions across the United States that I shared with my boys growing up; that small window of time—still being at home—and not having summer jobs—or big plans with their friends; I valued those summer moments even today.

Much to my husband’s displeasure, I didn’t travel with reservations.  I let the road and the enticement of curiosity and intrigue of our journey be our guide.  Yea, there was a general plan and route, and we participated in all the big tourist sights over the years : Carlsbad, Hoover Dam, Jackson Hole, Yellowstone, The Grand Canyon—Mt. Rushmore—and the Four Corners, Mesa Verde National Park; I could go on, Niagara Falls, San Francisco, the Pacific Coast highway, the famous tea-pot service station were buried in there too.

Colorado, New Mexico, Utah and Arizona literally come together; intersections on the map—a quadipoint. The unique points of the compass; each state, staking their claim to the arid real estate. Four Corners, a home to one of our national parks— a piece of Navajo, Hopi, Ute and Zuni tribal Country; untamed, wild and harsh.

The long winding road that brought us in to the majestic park had been a tedious leg—as I followed behind RV, after RV up the inclined and narrow highway the 35+ miles.  I didn’t care that these folks towed their petite homes behind them, it was just a different pace for them, then it was for me.

Desolated, barren, remote and rugged, I was surprised the park offered hotel accommodations. Making the decision to stay for the night was a splurge.  We were all a bit tired, my ex-Mother-in-law in tow.  (She often traveled with me on these summer sojourns and it was always nice to have another adult in the car—although certainly not necessary or at times easy—she excitedly partook in our road trips.)  For my kids, it was nice to have “Grandma” along; a woman who always seemed to keep things interesting.

The park was home to the Cliff Dwellers and offered tours about the Hopi’s and other ancient populations who at one time had occupied the land.  We had come all this way—why not learn a bit about this unique Colorado Plateau and the Tribal Nations who inhabited it?

Although, I was pleased with this quiet high plateau desert stop—my kids were not so much.  This was one of the few room sans TV.  They survived amidst their mild protest.  I laughed about what a rut and routine we often find ourselves in; sympathy without television was not high on my list. We we here to explore and discover.  I remember the ruggedness of the views from the small balcony—sun setting.  The isolation. The apparent acerbity. A very different life. One that had not been easy and one without our modern conveniences or luxury; I appreciated the ease by which we traveled and filled our bellies.

The night had been restful. The solitude and stillness amazing and rejuvenating for me.  The sun welcomed us to the new day. With our belongings loaded in the back of the Toyota, I made my way back down the blacktop towards the office—reservations and checkout.  With everyone waiting in the Land Cruiser—I skirted in to check out.  We would be on our way to see the ancient ruins and history contained within the park’s borders— of Mesa Verde and all it had to offer. It gave us a chance to speculate on the mysteries and disappearance of an entire race. This much I knew. Included in my plans was a tour to learn more of the Native peoples in antiquity— known as Anasazi, and Pueblo and predated our current Native culture by several millennia.  Our plans were in place for the day . . . or were they?

My usual dress at the time was a pair of Ralph Lauren shorts—with the side pockets—causal Polo style shirts and sweater or sweatshirt when necessary—leather topsiders and my leather backpack.  I mentioned this only to illustrate the vast number of places a set of keys could hide.  Upon my checkout I trotted back to the vehicle.  I needed to re-park the Toyota as the tours’ of the ruins would take 4-5 hours.  Yet, I could not find my keys.  I checked and rechecked my pockets.  I asked the boys and Grandma patiently waiting in the car.  No keys. I returned back to the hotel front desk twice, even making them look behind the computers to see if the keys had inadvertently fallen between the higher check-out counter and the screens from which they worked.  Nope, nowhere—a dilemma at hand! Where could they have gone? I even questioned myself.  Yes, I had to have the keys—after all I had driven from our room to this point where we sat . . .  This time on my trip back to the Land Cruiser, my mind raced for solutions.  A thousand or so miles away from home—and no keys!  I went to the glovebox.  Maybe there was a number of a ‘local’ Toyota dealer who could somehow get us a key?  I started digging.  Glove boxes, or at least mine, are like that;  You never know what you will find.

Within minutes, of searching the Toyota literature, I came upon a very small, yellow plastic key—stuck on a card—as I remember the 5 x 7 size—Stuck with those glue globs that usually free things come with in the mail.  I peeled the flat plastic key away from the card.  “We can get home” I said with a smile, holding up the tiny treasure.  “Let’s go.”  We left the car and went to catch the shuttle—the driver delaying—I believe in hopes we would find our keys.

About four and a half hours later—our tours complete we returned to the car.  I must say we had had a terrific time. As a matter of fact, I had completely forgotten all about the missing keys and had just enjoyed settling into the “Now”; the sights and the history.  We would be back in the Land Cruiser soon, on to parts unknown and enjoying what cool things and other sights this country had to offer. Our summer journey matching on, uninterrupted.

But, what greeted us was another astonishment. There, taped to my door was a white paper; a note from the front desk which said: “WE HAVE YOUR KEYS!!”  How about that—I shared with the boys and my Mother-in-law.  They found our keys!  I opened the vehicle and told them to climb in—I would be right back.

I presented the note—and they presented my keys.  “Wherever did you find them?”, I asked.  The young gal holding the keys looked at me.  “A man took them, thinking they belonged to his daughter—and then was embarrassed to bring them back”, she shyly confided. Well, whatever the reason, I was indeed happy to be reunited with my ring of keys.

It had been a good adventure.  Quite happily, I had been able to enjoy the days plan—despite the monkey-wrench concerning my keys.  I didn’t look quite as crazy to the front dest, I thought, smiling to myself as I walked back down the path towards the truck.

Today, as I write and recall this story, I am not sure whether it was a “test” of living in the moment.  Part of a life puzzle of handling unforeseen circumstances . . . or a debt of karma. (Unfinished business with another) It really doesn’t matter. Whatever the moment, or circumstances, we are always at choice-point of how we handle the up’s and down’s of life and our day(s).  When we come from a place of trust, things usually have a way of working themselves out.  It seems it’s all a matter of perspective and how we react or don’t react. Whether we believe we can or can’t, we’re right.  What do you choose to believe today?  . . . .  Well, You’re right!  Happy Summer trails and adventures!  Make them GREAT!

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Free, Fabulous and Loving Me! Happy Valentines Day.

Self Love 3Last week as I was dashing to meet a friend for dinner.  I realized how free I was at this time in my life.  I had no children to worry about—no spouse to consult and no curfew.

I believe that just as a relationship gives us growth and expansion, so does not having one. No relationship allows for our growth and expansion in a different way. It is an appreciation of ourselves. I am not talking about about conceit, self-importance or narcissism. It is the discovery of our inner core and strengths; who we are:  Our talents. Our Likes and dislikes. The joy of being alive. Our beauty.  A period of getting to know and love our authentic self! To know that we are enough—and to love ourselves is something worth celebrating—not just one day, but 365 others as well.

For me, the journey has been one of unlearning.  I was a wife and Mother for many years. (still a Mother—but my adults kids live in different parts of the country and are not underfoot.) One of the first things I used to think about—besides getting everyone to school on time, was, what shall I fix for dinner?  I don’t do that anymore.  Funny, I always used to joke about wanting a “wife.”  You know someone to do all those errands, deliveries and chores—right?  Does anyone relate?  Now, it is for me.

Someone might call that self centered.  Years ago, I would have recoiled from that label.  It was always about someone else, placing myself second, third, or fourth in the line of family demands.  Most women flinch from the thought of personal descriptions that include the word self.  As Sarah Breathnach so eloquently wrote, “this self-defeating modesty eliminates a lot of flattering adjectives: self-poised, self-assured, self-confident.  So why do we shrink from self-admiration?”

Perhaps, at some pivotal moment growing up, our Mother or other authority figure humiliated us and viewed our healthy wants as shameful and selfish; we were made to feel wrong.  So, isn’t it about time, we begin to set our boundaries and put ourselves first?  I am not suggesting we neglect our children or spouse, if you have those relationships currently in your life, but I am suggesting we begin to reframe our wants, desires and needs, and begin to radiate the vibrant glow of an intelligent, loving, self-possessed woman, shinning our light out unto the world!

I trust and know that when the timing is right, I will again be with a true life-partner.  One that supports my desires and honors me for me.  Until that time I am enjoying my freedom and all that comes from living my truth, honoring my authentic, artistic, creative, caring and compassionate self.

“What a desire!  . . . To live in peace with that word: Myself!” (Sylvia Ashton-Warner)

Happy Valentines Day to the best parts of you!

 

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